When I was young, death was the furthest thing from my mind. It was something that happened to others, but it was far removed from my immediate life. I never thought too much about it, and I fooled myself into beliefs of immortality for myself and for those I loved, not necessarily because I believed we would go on forever, but because I just refused to think about the possibility of my inner circle not being intact - the mere thought of it was too painful, and it was so much easier to just be in denial.
I did experience a few deaths along the way, as grandmothers, a few uncles and aunts, some friends and several pets passed on during my childhood, teenage and younger days. My core unit, however, consisting of my immediate family, was intact. Then my father passed away after I turned 40, and that is when I was really jolted, because this so called safe, untouched, core unit of mine was no longer intact. It was also the first time that someone really really close to my life had left and the pain I felt was immense. That's when I finally started thinking about mortality. Others probably accepted this reality much earlier in life, but I had fooled myself by refusing to think that anything could happen to my core unit - that was my pact with God!
Recently, my mother passed away. This was an unparalleled set-back, because she was the closest person to me in my life. We humans are more resilient than we think, and life has a way of going on, but I live my life everyday with a heavy heart. I got back to my work and my basic family responsibilities within a couple of weeks of the incident, but I haven't smiled since that day, and I've lost interest in a lot of things that life has to offer. It will be a while before some degree of normalcy is restored, and I am not trying to rush myself and am allowing it to happen gradually, as I learn to cope with life with my new reality.
Death leaves more questions than answers:
What happens after someone dies?
Does the soul live on in some way, or is it like an eternal slumber?
Can souls communicate with other souls that have passed on?
Can souls observe what is happening in the world they have left behind?
Is there a way for "evolved" people to communicate with departed souls?
Is there reincarnation?
I don't know if any living person has answers to these and many other such questions. I don't know what to believe, but I do know what I would like to believe. I would like to believe that there is a conscious soul that lives on after we go. I would like to believe that there isn't nothingness after we pass on, because then it almost feels like everything we stood for eventually comes to nothing. I would like to believe that we don't forever lose the ones we love. I would like to believe that departed souls can reunite and communicate with one another in some way. I would like to believe that souls of those who have gone can observe what is happening in the lives of their loved ones who miss them. I would like to believe that souls can maintain some kind of passive connect with the world they have left behind. I don't know what I want to believe about reincarnation, because though it gives some kind of solace that the soul lives on, I say what good is that if in our new lives, there is no consciousness of what we were, and if we have lost our loved ones forever, as we start our new lives and adventures afresh?
So, death is around the corner unfortunately. We just don't know how far away that corner is, and we're in no hurry to get to it. We need to acknowledge it, and we can only hope that when it happens to us or our loved ones, it happens with minimal physical pain and suffering, and after we have lived long, happy lives. And though it is very difficult for us to believe in anything that we have no apparent way of verifying, I guess one thing that keeps us going is what we want to believe in about death, and that is something which could very well vary from person to person!
I did experience a few deaths along the way, as grandmothers, a few uncles and aunts, some friends and several pets passed on during my childhood, teenage and younger days. My core unit, however, consisting of my immediate family, was intact. Then my father passed away after I turned 40, and that is when I was really jolted, because this so called safe, untouched, core unit of mine was no longer intact. It was also the first time that someone really really close to my life had left and the pain I felt was immense. That's when I finally started thinking about mortality. Others probably accepted this reality much earlier in life, but I had fooled myself by refusing to think that anything could happen to my core unit - that was my pact with God!
Recently, my mother passed away. This was an unparalleled set-back, because she was the closest person to me in my life. We humans are more resilient than we think, and life has a way of going on, but I live my life everyday with a heavy heart. I got back to my work and my basic family responsibilities within a couple of weeks of the incident, but I haven't smiled since that day, and I've lost interest in a lot of things that life has to offer. It will be a while before some degree of normalcy is restored, and I am not trying to rush myself and am allowing it to happen gradually, as I learn to cope with life with my new reality.
Death leaves more questions than answers:
What happens after someone dies?
Does the soul live on in some way, or is it like an eternal slumber?
Can souls communicate with other souls that have passed on?
Can souls observe what is happening in the world they have left behind?
Is there a way for "evolved" people to communicate with departed souls?
Is there reincarnation?
I don't know if any living person has answers to these and many other such questions. I don't know what to believe, but I do know what I would like to believe. I would like to believe that there is a conscious soul that lives on after we go. I would like to believe that there isn't nothingness after we pass on, because then it almost feels like everything we stood for eventually comes to nothing. I would like to believe that we don't forever lose the ones we love. I would like to believe that departed souls can reunite and communicate with one another in some way. I would like to believe that souls of those who have gone can observe what is happening in the lives of their loved ones who miss them. I would like to believe that souls can maintain some kind of passive connect with the world they have left behind. I don't know what I want to believe about reincarnation, because though it gives some kind of solace that the soul lives on, I say what good is that if in our new lives, there is no consciousness of what we were, and if we have lost our loved ones forever, as we start our new lives and adventures afresh?
So, death is around the corner unfortunately. We just don't know how far away that corner is, and we're in no hurry to get to it. We need to acknowledge it, and we can only hope that when it happens to us or our loved ones, it happens with minimal physical pain and suffering, and after we have lived long, happy lives. And though it is very difficult for us to believe in anything that we have no apparent way of verifying, I guess one thing that keeps us going is what we want to believe in about death, and that is something which could very well vary from person to person!
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