Memories Of Life In Thimpu, Bhutan (1977-1980)

I lived in Thimpu from 1977 to 1980. I was four when I got there, and seven when I left, but I still have fairly vivid memories of my three years there. I may not remember the sites of Bhutan too clearly (for that, I need to go back, and I certainly plan to in the near future), but I remember our house, my school, happy times spent with family and friends, and quite a few incidents from my life. I lived there with my father (who was the Indian Ambassador to Bhutan), my mother, and my two elder sisters. My father, during his 35 year career in the Indian Foreign Service, had postings in Tokyo (1956-1959), New York (1962-1965), Nairobi (1965-1967), Manila (1967-1971), Sofia (1975-1977), Thimpu (1977-1980), Belgrade (1983-1985) and Vienna (1985-1989), but if you ever asked him which was his favourite posting, he would say Thimpu. My mother's answer would also be the same.

We lived in a lovely cottage up on a hill. My father's office was also up on the same hill, barely a 100 meter walk away. New India House, a new complex with the Indian Ambassador's house, the Indian Embassy, and houses for members of the mission, had been commissioned before we went to Thimpu, but it was a bit of an eye sore compared to the beautiful cottage that had served as the Indian Ambassador's residence, so my parents decided to stay on there and not move. The next Ambassador after my father, shifted to New India House, which was certainly comfortable and convenient, but lacked the charm of our cottage. Our house was surrounded by greenery and trees, and how I loved climbing trees those days! A few falls didn't deter my enthusiasm and my family referred to me as a little monkey! I was further encouraged to behave like a monkey because of my mother's numerous stories about Kapish, the monkey with the magical tail that could be elongated or shortened at will. Those were happy days. I felt protected and loved, being with doting parents and elder sisters, and my life felt so complete.

I didn't bother much about studies back then. I was a mischievous kid, who was always busy either climbing trees, or playing with animals, or playing with my toys, or rolling boulders down hills (my mother made me realise the potential dangers of that and I stopped). My class had 22 kids, and every time my report card came, I would proudly run home and tell my mother that I had come 22th (not 22nd) in class! My academic performance had to do a lot with Dzonkha, the local language, which I never managed to learn at all, and I would always get zero in it. Back then, hitting kids in school was an accepted norm, and I do remember being hit by my Dzonkha teacher on one occasion. My performance in school suddenly went up one year because I got addicted to a numbers game called Bagatelle, and suddenly I was topping in Maths, and that took my overall scores up, despite the continued zero in Dzonkha!

My best friend in Thimpu was my namesake, Akshay Mishra, the son of Dr Akhil Mishra (an army doctor) and Anju Mishra. Akshay had an elder brother, Avinash. He later got a younger sister, Akanksha, who was years younger than us. Akshay was a year elder to me. The way we first met was quite funny. One day in school, I was generally throwing stones in the air. One stone went and hit Akshay, who was then on a swing. Akshay got hurt, got was very upset, and came and beat me up. Soon we became friends, and we went on to become inseparable. Akshay's parents became very close family friends. They continue to be, and Dr Akhil Mishra has been a family doctor of ours all these years.

Siddharth Singh was an officer in the Indian Embassy, and lived in Thimpu with his wife Jyotsna and his kids Devika and Uday. Jyotsna Aunty was always this very lively person, great at telling stories, and in this one respect, she reminded me of my mother and I was very fond of her. Years later, in 2001, I visited Siddharth Uncle and Jyotsna Aunty in Rome. He was then the Indian Ambassador there. The Singhs hadn't met me in years, and remembered me as an extremely naughty kid. One evening while I was there, there was an important official dinner at home, and Jyotsna Aunty told me I could join, if I promised to behave myself! Ahem, I was 28 then, but I can't blame her for having said that because I really had been this very mischievous boy! Rajnikanth Verma was another officer at the Indian Embassy, and he lived there with his wife Minu and his three daughters, Saloni, Sonali and Sonia. Sonali was my age, and we were friends. The Vermas also became family friends. The Singhs and the Vermas have stayed in touch with the family through all these years.

The king of Bhutan back then was His Majesty Jigme Singhe Wangchuk. He was in his early twenties back then. There was a fairly high level of interaction between my parents and the king. He would come over to our place for official dinners, and we would go across to the Dzong every now and then. He was a kind man, loved by his people, and my parents were genuinely fond of him. He had a fairly informal relationship with my father. My mother would make every attempt to try and limit my interactions with him, because no one ever know what mischievous thing I would say or do. On one occasion, at a lunch at home, I asked him how many idlis he had eaten, and when he said 4, I boasted that I had eaten 12, with sambar and chutney smeared all across my face. On another occasion, I said to him "You are His Majesty. Where is Her Majesty?" He was a youngster back then, and hadn't yet got married. He laughed and replied "All of Bhutan wants to know." On yet another occasion, the Queen Mother met me and said "Hello Dear". I promptly said "I am not a deer. I am a tiger."

Once we went to the king's palace, the Dzong. He had a mini zoo in the palace, and he noticed how fond of animals I was. We went home, and there was a little gift from the king that followed - a box with two white rabbits, Benji and Zeenat. As we found out, rabbits can really multiply fast, and before we knew it, we had dozens of rabbits. My mother constructed a large cage for them in our garden. Sadly, there was some kind of epidemic and they died all one after the other within a few days of each other.

We also got a precious gift from the king's aunt, Ashi Choki. She sent us two albino Lhasa Apso dogs, with long white fur, pink noses and blue eyes. They were Karma and Karsang. I absolutely loved Karma and Karsang. Karma was a female and Karsang was a male, and they were both very affectionate and filled our lives with joy. They would bark the place down whenever the doorbell rang, and if someone from the family entered the house, they would run around the house in a frenzy of excitement. Karma was very well behaved, and lived up to the age of 16. She travelled with us from Thimpu to Delhi to Belgrade to Vienna and back to Delhi. Karsang was very mischievous and was always getting into trouble. He was constantly running into the forest and wouldn't get back for hours. When he finally got back, he would bury his face into my mother's sari, as that was his way of saying sorry. He would sometimes run to our school, which wasn't far, and he would go and sit in my middle sister's class and growl if anyone said anything to her. He would try and chase cars whenever he was taken for a walk. That unfortunately cost him his life. At the age of 3, he once tried chasing a car while he was being walked and the leash snapped, and he got run over. That was a sad moment in our lives. Karma had a total of 10 pups, spread over three different litters. Not many of the pups survived beyond a few weeks, because Apso pups are really tiny and weak, like little mice. Laika was one of the pups who did survive, and he was given to Akshay Mishra's family and went on to live a full life.

Our house was like a bit of a zoo, because in addition to me (I was quite a wild little animal back then!), the rabbits and the dogs, we also had a cat, Leiki. Leiki used to keep warm in the Bhutan winters by snuggling in between Karma and Karsang. Karma and Karsang were so small, that Leiki was practically their size. Every so often, she would give Karma and Karsang a slap on their faces if they didn't comply with any of her demands. They really were bullied by her!

Moti Singh joined us as our cook while we were in Thimpu. He had worked with elderly friends of my mother's in Delhi, Shiva Rao Uncle and Kitty Auntie, and he came to us when they were no more. He came with his young son, Jaswant, who was 9 years elder to me and became a buddy of mine. He used to help out with work around the house, and my mother educated him. He was excellent at sports, and got my two sisters and me interested in sports.

We had several members of the family visiting us while we were in Thimpu. The visitors included my Nani (my maternal grandmother); my Masi's sons Kapil and Arun Kathpalia; my Mamaji's daughters Radha and Poornima Kathpalia; my Mausaji's brother Shashi Kathpalia, who came with his wife Naina and kids Nandita and Vivek; my Chachi's sister Ani Naik (a well known painter), who came with her husband Murali (also an accomplished painter) and kids Ravi and Rupa; and my mother's close Parsi friend Minnie Boga and her Canadian husband Robert. I enjoyed it immensely when we had visitors staying with us.

While we were there, Atal Bihari Vajpayee visited Thimpu. He was then the External Affairs Minister in the Morarji Desai government. I was too young to remember much of his visit, but as my mother told me, he charmed everyone (my parents, members of the Indian Embassy, and the Bhutanese royalty) with his down to earth ways, his kindness, his poetry and his articulate style of talking. There was a large reception in his honour at our house, and besides members of the Indian Embassy, the Bhutanese royal family had also been invited. He was a vegetarian and did not drink alcohol. My mother asked him if non vegetarian food and alcohol should be served at the dinner. He was so humble and non imposing in his ways that he said we should do what the accepted custom in Bhutan was. He had high blood sugar, so my mother was careful with things. When he was being served tea, my mother asked him if he would like some sugar. He said yes. My mother gave him half a tea spoon of sugar, and promptly he said "Prem Se Daliye". When he had to make a speech during the dinner, he adapted the lyrics of a popular old Hindi song, made it relevant to the context of Bhutan and recited it, to much applause! He really won over everyone's hearts!

We travelled a fair amount around Bhutan. I can't remember too many details of the historical places we went to, but I do remember that we visited places like Paro, Punakha, Bumthang and Phuentsholing. We went everywhere in our Ambassador car, and I thought my car was called Ambassador because my father was the Ambassador! Bhutanese people are very warm, friendly and accepting, and that is what endeared the country so much to my parents. We were exposed to Bhutanese hospitality, music, dance, archery (the national sport) and cuisines during our travels around the country.

My mother came away to Delhi for a month when my uncle had a near fatal scooter accident. Fortunately, he recovered from the accident. I missed my mother terribly over that one month, and I wrote a letter to her every single day. The contents of the letter were always the same, as I would write about missing her, about the two dogs, and about my father and the car both being Ambassadors! My letters to her always had little drawings too, of all the things I had written about.

I really want to go back to Bhutan. What pains me and really breaks my heart is that though I have travelled extensively around the world in my adult life, I was not able to go back to Bhutan during the lifetime of my parents. I would have really wanted to come back from my trip and share stories with them, and it pains me beyond measure that I cannot do that anymore because they have left us. Yes, my sisters are there and I will return from my trip and share my adventures with them. My middle sister visited Bhutan a couple of years ago with her husband and teenaged daughter, and they came back with glowing accounts of the country. I will visit Bhutan soon, albeit with a very heavy heart because I didn't end up going when it would have been than much more meaningful!