Vandana Grover, a dear friend, passed away today from Covid. It came as a huge blow to me and to all those who knew this warm, gentle, sympathetic, kind-hearted soul.
I got to know Vandana a few years ago through our shared passion for Scrabble. We first met at one of the Scrabble tournaments in Delhi, and we became friends. What struck me about Vandana the first time I met her was her warmth, the aura of genuine goodness that she seemed to possess, her great diction, and her brilliant command over the English language. A bunch of us Scrabble enthusiasts - Vandana, Ela, Shalini, Sid, and I - would regularly meet up over weekends in Gurgaon, and play the game we all loved. Our favourite haunt was Starbucks in Cyber Hub. It used to be a good few hours of Scrabble, and chatting with like-minded friends. The meet-ups came to an end because of Covid, but the online meet-ups continued.
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| Kamalini, Vandana, Ela, Me, and Sudhir at a Scrabble meet-up in Cyber Hub, Gurgaon, in 2017 |
I discovered Vandana was a real bibliophile. Her favourite author was Daphne du Maurier. She even went to Cornwall in England for a holiday to see what kind of life her favourite author lived. I remember discussing that trip with her, and over the years, we had several discussions about our respective international travels. Seeing Vandana's passion for reading, I invited her to join the book-club in my Gurgaon condominium, The Icon. She readily agreed, and soon she was an integral member of our book-club, along with regulars like Indu, Ritu, Sanjeeta, Gayatri, Puneet, Smita, Rebecca, Frances, Ruchira, my wife Kamalini, and me.
Vandana loved cats, and she had five cats at home. Kamalini, our little son Rehaan, and I once went and had lunch with Vandana and her husband at their Gurgaon home. Vandana and I played Scrabble, while Kamalini and Rehaan played with the cats. Kamalini and Vandana got along very well, which was so easy to understand because of Vandana's warm nature, and lovely mannerisms. They also had a common Loreto background that cemented their bond - Vandana was from Loreto Convent in Delhi and she now taught Economics there, whereas Kamalini was from Loreto House in Kolkata. Vandana and I found another connection - I was from XLRI Jamshedpur, and her daughter also studied there, though that was more than two decades after I had graduated from there!
When my mother passed away in 2019, I was badly shaken because I was very close to her. It took me several months to come out of the huge shock. Many of my friends were supportive during that phase, but Vandana was particularly supportive. During my mother's illness, Vandana regularly enquired about her, and said soothing words that gave me hope. When my mother left us, Vandana came over to pay her condolences, and she would regularly message me to check up on how I was coping. This brought out her extremely caring and sympathetic nature.
Through Covid, Vandana and I were in touch. We played Scrabble online, and we would exchange messages to find out how things were in our respective lives. She was extremely encouraging when I launched my debut book, "Standing Up Tall Against Bullying". She took out the time to read it, she gave a very positive review, she discussed the book with me at length, and she was encouraging in every way possible!
A few months ago, Vandana fondly remembered the last time all of us played Scrabble face-to-face. It was at my home, just a few weeks before the Covid lockdown in March 2020. Vandana didn't like to visit anyone empty-handed, and the day she came over, she gifted Kamalini and me with a beautiful book - Haemin Sunim's "The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down". The book incidentally went on to become the next book we discussed in our virtual book-club meet-up. Vandana said she was waiting for the day when all of us could meet and play Scrabble face-to-face again. That day will alas never come again for Vandana!
It is a tragic, heartbreaking loss indeed! For me, for my wife, for the Scrabble community in Delhi NCR and India, for the Icon book-club, and I'm sure for all the people whose lives she touched with her genuine goodness! With a heavy heart, but with a smile on my face, I will always remember this dear friend who brought so much happiness, calmness, and warmth into our lives!
Rest in peace Vandana. You will be missed forever!
14 comments:
you captured Vandana's essence so well. A big loss for all of us
Thanks Alpna. A terrible blow to us all.
Thanks for this lovely Tribute Akshay to Vandana! What has happened is hard to believe. May her soul rest in peace����
This does represent maam in every sense! Thank you for writing this for all of us Akshay, I hope she rests in peace - To many of us, her Students at LC, she was our strong Iron lady and a true depiction of what we stand for...
You will be missed forever maam ♥️
Thanks everyone for your kind words. This was a huge loss indeed, and has left all of us truly shaken! Chetna, you were lucky to have had her as a teacher - a caring, compassionate teacher with a heart of gold! May she rest in peace!
Thank you Akshay for your wonderful tribute to my Mom. The Scrabble association and book club were very dear to her. Her loss is a blow to us all. Thank you for celebrating her in your own way.
Thank you! We continue to miss your mom a lot, and I can just imagine how tough it must be for you and your father. May God give you strength!
Such an adorable and passionate teacher..truly at loss for words..may God give strength to her family..
Akshay, I have always loved how you write. Especially the way you write about people who have journeyed with your in your life through the ups and downs. You have this very relatable way of writing where one can almost visualize the whole thing. I never met or knew your friend Vandana, but reading your tribute acquaints everyone so beautifully with her. Clearly, a soul gone too soon, and one can see what a huge void she has left behind. I too, lost a very dear friend and was taken back to that anxiety one felt when we were praying for her to recover. May Vandana’s soul rest in eternal peace
Akshay do write a memoir of the people that crossed your path. It touches everyone.
Thank you for this beautiful tribute. Ms. Vanda was my teacher in school and perhaps the only one I truly ever connected with. Her empathy and kindness knew no bounds and she truly cared for each and every one of us like her children. She also was the one who made me believe in myself at the tender age of 13, when she told me how much she loved my writing and encouraged me to keep going. I owe a lot of who I am to her, and it's only the good parts. I was missing her terribly when I came across this, and truly appreciate her memory being etched out forever, on the internet. Thanks!
Thank you so much for your kind words Sanchita, Vaishali and Khushi. I'm so sorry I missed out on replying earlier, but I never received a notification about your comments. It's now 6 months since Vandana left us - her friends still remember her very fondly, and feel her loss!
Hi Akshay, my Dad and I were looking to get in touch with you and unfortunately I have no phone number or email address at which to do so. Would you be able to drop me a line at deltabravoechooneone@gmail.com? Thank you so much!
Cain, I am so sorry I missed out on your message. I don't receive notifications when comments come, and hence this happened. I guess we are connected now on the WhatsApp group that Ela has created.
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