Passing On: The Inevitable Reality And Its Unanswered Questions

When I was young, death was the furthest thing from my mind. It was something that happened to others, but it was far removed from my immediate life. I never thought too much about it, and I fooled myself into beliefs of immortality for myself and for those I loved, not necessarily because I believed we would go on forever, but because I just refused to think about the possibility of my inner circle not being intact - the mere thought of it was too painful, and it was so much easier to just be in denial.

I did experience a few deaths along the way, as grandmothers, a few uncles and aunts, some friends and several pets passed on during my childhood, teenage and younger days. My core unit, however, consisting of my immediate family, was intact. Then my father passed away after I turned 40, and that is when I was really jolted, because this so called safe, untouched, core unit of mine was no longer intact. It was also the first time that someone really really close to my life had left and the pain I felt was immense. That's when I finally started thinking about mortality. Others probably accepted this reality much earlier in life, but I had fooled myself by refusing to think that anything could happen to my core unit - that was my pact with God!

Recently, my mother passed away. This was an unparalleled set-back, because she was the closest person to me in my life. We humans are more resilient than we think, and life has a way of going on, but I live my life everyday with a heavy heart. I got back to my work and my basic family responsibilities within a couple of weeks of the incident, but I haven't smiled since that day, and I've lost interest in a lot of things that life has to offer. It will be a while before some degree of normalcy is restored, and I am not trying to rush myself and am allowing it to happen gradually, as I learn to cope with life with my new reality.

Death leaves more questions than answers:
What happens after someone dies?
Does the soul live on in some way, or is it like an eternal slumber?
Can souls communicate with other souls that have passed on?
Can souls observe what is happening in the world they have left behind?
Is there a way for "evolved" people to communicate with departed souls?
Is there reincarnation?

I don't know if any living person has answers to these and many other such questions. I don't know what to believe, but I do know what I would like to believe. I would like to believe that there is a conscious soul that lives on after we go. I would like to believe that there isn't nothingness after we pass on, because then it almost feels like everything we stood for eventually comes to nothing. I would like to believe that we don't forever lose the ones we love. I would like to believe that departed souls can reunite and communicate with one another in some way. I would like to believe that souls of those who have gone can observe what is happening in the lives of their loved ones who miss them. I would like to believe that souls can maintain some kind of passive connect with the world they have left behind. I don't know what I want to believe about reincarnation, because though it gives some kind of solace that the soul lives on, I say what good is that if in our new lives, there is no consciousness of what we were, and if we have lost our loved ones forever, as we start our new lives and adventures afresh?

So, death is around the corner unfortunately. We just don't know how far away that corner is, and we're in no hurry to get to it. We need to acknowledge it, and we can only hope that when it happens to us or our loved ones, it happens with minimal physical pain and suffering, and after we have lived long, happy lives. And though it is very difficult for us to believe in anything that we have no apparent way of verifying, I guess one thing that keeps us going is what we want to believe in about death, and that is something which could very well vary from person to person!

My Uncle, The Moulvi Ji And The Nawab

In July - August 2019, when my mother was very ill, my aunts would come practically every day to spend time with her. It was a very sad period in our lives, and we had extremely heavy hearts, but my aunts would try to cheer us all up with interesting stories from the past. My mother took her illness very bravely, and she would also chip in with old stories. We got to hear some lovely stories from the family archives. Here's one of them.

In pre partition times in Pakistan, my uncle was a very intelligent child. He was intellectually gifted, had got a couple of double promotions and was academically a few years ahead of others his age. He had shown an exceptional aptitude towards humanities and languages, and he was learning Persian. A Moulvi Ji used to come home to teach him. My uncle was a young boy back then, and he was in the habit of wearing shorts, which were rather loose for him. Other students who learned Persian under the Moulvi Ji were much older, and had graduated to wearing long trousers. The Moulvi Ji ticked off my uncle one day and said "Why are you wearing your mother's Ghagras?". Extremely sensitive as he was, my uncle told his mother he was not going to learn Persian any more!

He switched over to Biology and went on to study to become a doctor. He applied for admission in college. There again, he was a couple of years younger than other students who were applying for admission. During his interview, someone on the panel objected to my uncle's young age, despite his very high marks, and he sarcastically told my uncle "In the hostel, we don't have nurses to take care of  our students". My uncle took strong offence at the sarcasm, and he refused to join that college and he ended up joining elsewhere.

A few years later, my uncle applied to medical college in a sought after medical institution in Amritsar for his post doctorate. He had very high qualifications but he didn't get through because the college had reservations for local Punjabi students. My grandfather used to work for the Nawab of Bahawalpur, and he was a great favourite of the Nawab's. When the Nawab heard that my uncle was not getting admission because of the reservation issue, he used his tremendous influence, personally got in touch with the college, and secured a seat for my uncle. People around the Nawab said "If you have secured a seat, why give it to a Hindu boy? Why not give it to a Muslim boy from Bahawalpur?". But given the Nawab's very open minded, religiously tolerant and secular ways, plus his great fondness for my grandfather, he was very clear that he wanted the seat for no one else other than my uncle.

Through quirks of fate, including the roles played by the Moulvi Ji and the Nawab, my uncle went on to do very well in medical college. He joined the Indian Army as a doctor, and became a renowned plastic surgeon and had a very successful career. He could have very well been a Persian scholar instead, if the Moulvi Ji hadn't been said what he had said!!

Oonita Kathpalia Hiremath: A Tribute To My Mother

My mother in 2017.

My mother, Oonita Kathpalia Hiremath, passed away on August 16th, 2019, after battling with cancer. She was 84. No tribute that I or anyone else can write can do justice to the wonderful person that she was, but I shall try nevertheless, because I have been able to think of little else besides her ever since she left. A part of me died when she left, and life will never be the same again. But life does go on because it must.

My mother's passing away has been a loss of epic proportions, and I'm still trying to come to terms with what happened. She was a kind, gentle, generous, calm tempered, empathetic, caring, good natured, intelligent, down to earth, gracious, elegant, and genuinely good human being. She was extremely articulate, had a terrific sense of humour, and had this great knack for telling stories. We would sit for hours and listen enthralled to stories from her life, and from our childhood. Between her fantastic memory and her legendary story-telling abilities, listening to her was a real treat. I was always very proud of the kind of person she was and I always felt a great sense of pride in introducing her to my friends. What better testament to my mother's endearing ways than the fact that a few of our friends became closer to her than they were to us, and would come home all the way just to meet her even when we weren't around. A few of my sisters' friends would drop everything and come across for 2 full days year after year just to help her out during her annual Kasida exhibitions. My mother was equally at ease interacting with kings and global political bigwigs, as she was interacting with people who had been far less fortunate; she was good and fair with people, irrespective of their stature in life, and she treated everyone with utmost respect.

My mother was always very supportive of us, even when other "grown ups" questioned the wisdom of our actions. She was supportive when my sister decided to leave her course in college halfway through and skip a year; she was supportive when my other sister decided to rough it out for 2 years in the tropical forests of Central America as part of her work instead of sitting in a cushy, comfortable office; she was supportive when I got fed up with corporate life and decided to set up my own little work-from-home business. She was always there to advise us in the most non interfering manner possible, and she had full faith that her children knew what they were doing and what was best for them; if we were ever wrong in our decisions, she was always there for us.

My mother encouraged all my interests throughout my life, from climbing and measuring trees as a child; to playing with animals at a very young age; to reading Amar Chitra Katha comics and watching movies; to tracking the weekly US Top 10 and UK Top 10 music charts; to trying my hand at table tennis, tennis, swimming and football; to following tennis; to playing Chess and Scrabble; to keeping up with friends; to travelling around the world. She always stood behind me to pursue whatever activities made me happy. She in fact went a step further, and tried to be actively involved in whatever interested me. So suddenly she was watching Amitabh Bachchan movies with me, listening to Michael Jackson songs with me, and watching Roger Federer tennis matches with me.

I can't remember a single incident when my mother lost her cool with us, or spoke to us in a loud voice. As kids, we did get the silent treatment every now and then if we were out of line, but never anything more than that. The only things that ever upset her were if someone was rude, or if someone disrespected elders, or if someone was dishonest, but she had ingrained these core values in us so strongly that none of us could ever be like that.

My mother was born in Bahawalpur District, now in Pakistan, on June 13th, 1935. She was the youngest child of Ram Narain Kathpalia (1899 - 1958) and Kaushalya Kathpalia (1910 - 2003). Her elder siblings were Jagat Kathpalia (1924 - 1948), Pearey Kathpalia (1926 - 1986), and Indira Kathpalia (born in 1931). My grandfather was an irrigation engineer who worked with the Nawab of Bahawalpur, and the family travelled around in remote areas as my grandfather moved from one irrigation project to another. The family also went and stayed in Karachi from time to time in the plush locality of Clifton. My mother's kind nature was seen in abundance when she became a vegetarian at the age of 5 in a strictly non vegetarian household; the family used to move around with their farm animals, and my mother befriended the 50 odd hens that they had, gave each one a unique name, and refused to eat her "pets". So the hen with a slight limp was called "langar deen" and all the other hens had similar appropriate nick-names.

The Kathpalia Family in 1942 in Pakistan.

In 1947, the family came to Delhi after partition. The Nawab helped them escape to India during those turbulent times. My mother was interviewed in 2018 by the Partition Museum, Amritsar, to talk about her experiences from the time of India-Pakistan partition in 1947. She gave the interview in her own inimitable style and brought alive her first hand experiences from that period. My mother went to Queen Mary's School in Delhi. She hardly spoke any English when they came to India, but soon she was so adept in English that she went on to do her BA and MA in English from Miranda House in Delhi University. She even became a member of Delhi University's Shakespeare Society, and went on to act in Shakespeare plays like "A Mid Summer Night's Dream".

She worked as a teacher briefly with primary children but kind hearted as she always was, she quit when she once witnessed another teacher hitting a child. She sat and cried with the child, and decided this was not the job for her. She worked as an announcer for Air India for a while. She then had a long innings at Cottage Industries as a buyer, and that inculcated a lifelong love for craft, design and textiles, interests she would come back to later in life.

She married my father, Jagdish Rudraya Hiremath, on December 31st, 1964. He was an Indian Foreign Service officer from the batch of 1954. They got to know each other after his first posting abroad in Tokyo (Japan), where he served from 1956 to 1959. He was on a home posting then, and he was a friend and batch-mate of my mother's brother in law, who was an officer with the Indian Administrative Service. My father got posted to New York (USA) in 1962 and as luck would have it, Cottage Industries sent my mother to New York for an 8 month assignment for the World's Fair in 1964. That's where my parents got to know each other well and decided to get married.

They moved to Nairobi (Kenya) in 1965. My elder sister was born there in 1967. They then moved to Manila (The Philippines) in 1967, and my second sister was born there in 1970. I was born in Delhi in 1973, during their home posting from 1971 to 1975. From 1975 to 1977, our family lived in Sofia (Bulgaria); from 1977 to 1980, we lived in Thimpu (Bhutan); from 1980 to 1983, we lived in Delhi; from 1983 to 1985, we lived in Belgrade (Yugoslavia); and from 1985 to 1989, we lived in Vienna (Austria). Vienna was my father's last posting, and he retired as the Indian Ambassador there. The days in the IFS were largely happy days, though there were times when they were unsettling and challenging - overall, my mother went through a lot of memorable experiences that added to her endless repertoire of interesting stories.

The family then moved back to Delhi, and Delhi was where my parents were to stay for the rest of their lives. My mother kept herself busy by running Kasida Handicrafts, an organization that made hand embroidered clothes for women. My mother did it out of love for the craft (she was a talented designer), and in order to provide employment and livelihood to women. My mother made a lot of close friends from the different phases of her life - her college days at Miranda House, her working days at Cottage Industries, her days as an Indian Foreign Service wife, and her days at Kasida - she made it a point to keep in touch with her friends, and many of these friendships were to last a lifetime.

My father passed away in 2013. He was there for my second sister's wedding in 2000 and when my niece was born in 2003. He was also there when my wife Kamalini Roy and I got married in 2011 but he left before the birth of my son Rehaan in 2014. My father's passing away was a big shock, but my mother was there, strong as ever, to somewhat lessen the grief for us, because we knew she was one person who was going through more pain than we were, and yet she was doing it with amazing dignity and grace.

My Mother on her 75th Birthday in 2010.

For me, my mother was my best friend. She was the first person I would go to when I wanted to share any piece of good news or bad news, or when I wanted to discuss a problem. She would go out of her way to try and help me in any way that she could. She was there for me when I struggled with shifting schools in my childhood, when I took time to settle into my first job, when I had to deal with difficult bosses, when I had my heartbreaks as a youngster, when I took time to settle into my marriage, and when I had my moments of doubt as a small entrepreneur. Without her words of advice, always in a non interfering way, I don't know how I would have pulled through some of my most difficult times. She was generous beyond measure. She made family birthdays very special, with her thoughtful gifts and beautifully planned out get-togethers. Festivals - Diwali, Ganesh Chaturthi and Raksha Bandhan in particular - were made very memorable, as she put in a lot of effort to decorate the house beautifully, and arrange for delicious family meals. Every time I went on one of my international travels, I would suddenly get an envelope with a significant amount of money and a note wishing me a very happy holiday.

Sometimes people do things for elders out of a sense of duty and responsibility, but in the case of my mother, as also in the case of my father, my sisters and I did it out of genuine love, respect, admiration and gratitude. My sisters and I took career decisions so that we could be with our parents when they started ageing. We were all there for my father and for my mother during times when they were ill and needed support, and we would not have had it any other way, because they were always there for us, not only in our childhood, but well into our adult lives, to support us in every way possible.

My Mother with Rehaan in 2016.

My mother was diagnosed with cancer in October 2018. She had surgery and chemotherapy. She responded rather well to them. As recently as May 2019, the doctors said she was fine and she should stop seeing herself as a patient. We were all so relieved and happy. Then her cancer came back very rapidly and on July 15th, 2019, after her scan, the doctors told us that the cancer had spread very aggressively to her liver and there was nothing they could do for her, other than palliative care to take care of her pain and discomfort. We were shell shocked, but my mother handled the news much more bravely than we did. She said she knew the meaning of liver cancer, and we should make the most of whatever time was left. She told the three of us that parents can't go on forever, we should be happy that she had lead such a long and happy life, and we should be prepared to let go when the time came. She expressed her wish that she should go from home, and not from a hospital with needles and pipes sticking into her. Most people in the family were practical and accepted the inevitable, but Kamalini and I kept hoping and believing that a miracle would take place and we ran around exploring alternative treatments. That alas was not meant to be.

For the 1 month that my mother was with us after her diagnosis, we got to see what genuine love was all about. My sisters and I were of course with her every single day, but her 88 year old sister, and 90 year old sister in law would come and see her practically every day. The latter in fact rushed back from the US, where she had gone to celebrate her 90th birthday with her children. Not only did she rush across, but her daughter and son in law, both doctors in the US, also came for 10 days. My niece heard the news and she took a week off from her boarding school and came to see her ill grandmother. My mother's old friend, a professor at Cambridge, dashed across from England for 3 days to see her. My mother's Delhi based close relatives and friends, both hers and ours, all dropped in regularly to meet her. She would really enjoy meeting close people and she would chat with them cheerfully as if nothing was wrong. Her only request to the doctors was to keep her as pain-free as possible, and to not give her anything that would make her drowsy or less alert.

After about three weeks, the illness started catching up with my mother. She became weaker and weaker because she hardly had an appetite. Her trips from her bedroom upstairs to the drawing and dining room downstairs reduced and eventually came to a halt. She started feeling very low on energy and found it difficult to get out of bed. Yet through it all, one never heard her complain. She took it in her stride and said she was at peace. She continued to have this amazing sense of calmness and tranquility, while all of us watched helplessly as each day was worse than the previous day.

It is difficult to prepare oneself for such an eventuality, even when one has been given notice. Her passing away still came as a big shock to me. She went first thing in the morning. I shall always regret that I wasn't there with her at the end, but my sisters both were. I got a call from my second sister at 5:40 in the morning. I feared the worst when I heard the phone ringing so early in the morning, but what she had to say was that my mother was a little short of breath, so they were considering getting an oxygen cylinder at home. I started the process of getting ready to leave for my mother's place. 10 minutes later, my elder sister called. I asked her if they had been able to make enquiries about oxygen cylinders but she said it was too late. I rushed across and was there within half an hour, hoping against hope that she was still alive, but that was not to be. My mother's last statement had been "That will not be a problem" when my elder sister said she'd have to sit up in bed to take her Crocin. She sat up momentarily with my sister's help, and then left us before she could take her medicine. That one statement was so true to the positive person she always was. I was with her the previous evening and had planned to return later that day after getting some homeopathic medicines for her. The homeopath was in fact the only doctor who had given an iota of hope, and I was clinging on to that. Kamalini helped me hang on to that hope with her positive talk, and though my mother did not get cured, that hope probably helped me get through those initial days following the diagnosis instead of falling into a complete depression, which is what happened when I first got to know about her diagnosis.

Life will never ever be the same. I have lost my best friend, my biggest supporter, and my soundest advisor. It's a void that will never ever be filled. Little things constantly remind me of her, and I am overcome with grief. Over time, I hope I will learn to look back with a smile at all the happy, precious moments I spent with her. I wish my son had spent a lot more time with his grandmother - he had just turned 5 when she went. One of his favourite activities was sitting on her lap while she read out books to him and told him stories, in a style that only she could. Four decades earlier, she had done the same to me, fascinating me with stories about Kapish, the monkey with the magical tail! The only consolation we all have is that she was not in a lot of pain when she went, she was at peace and was mentally prepared to move on, and finally, she went surrounded by a lot of love. May she rest in peace, and may she look down and see just how much she is loved and missed by the people she has left behind.

Love you and miss you Mama, more than anyone or anything in the world! Thank you for everything! Remembering you for the rest of my life with love, respect, admiration, gratitude and pride!

Kamalini and Me with my Mother and my Father
at our Wedding Reception in 2011.

My Visual Travel Experience: Bratislava

In 2011, my then fiance and I spent close to a week in Vienna. I had planned a trip for the 20th anniversary reunion of my batch in my former school, Vienna International School. We decided to go to Bratislava for a day. It's just about 80 km east of Vienna. We went by ferry along the River Danube, and it took just about an hour. It was a lovely day, with scenic views along the iconic river, and with the various sights of the beautiful medieval town of Bratislava.

Bratislava is the capital of the Slovak Republic and has a population of over 430,000. The city is one of Europe’s smaller capitals. It lies along the River Danube as well as the River Morava, and is along the Austrian and Hungarian borders. It is in fact the only national capital that borders two sovereign states. Many travelers end up giving Bratislava a miss, instead preferring to visit three of Europe's grandest capitals that are near by - Vienna, Budapest and Prague. However, the town certainly has its undeniable charm and is well worth a visit.

A view of Bratislava with the Danube, Bratislava Castle
 and St Martin's Cathedral

From the 1st to the 4th century AD, the region was under the Romans, and it became a major centre for wine making for them. The Slavs came to the region in the 5th and 6th centuries. In the 7th century, the Slavs established Samo’s Empire when the Avars attacked the region. Bratislava Castle was built in the 9th century. In the 10th century, the region – then known as Pressburg – came under Hungarian rule. In the 16th century, Hungary was defeated by the Ottomans. The Ottomans besieged and caused damage to Pressburg. In 1536, Pressburg became the new capital of Hungary under the Habsburg Monarchy. The city became a coronation town for Hungarian kings, and it became the most important city in Hungary. After the reign of Maria Theresia ended, her son Joseph II took over, and the city lost some of its prominence – the crown jewels were taken to Vienna, and many central offices and nobility shifted to Buda.

After World War I, Czechoslovakia was formed in 1918, and Pressburg was incorporated into the new nation, despite resistance from the local population. In 1919, Pressburg became the capital of Slovakia and later that year, the name Bratislava was adopted. Many Hungarians either fled or were expelled from the city. During World War II, the Slovak government cooperated with the Nazis and deported 15,000 Jews to Nazi concentration camps. Bratislava was bombed by the Allies and suffered damage in the war. In 1948, the Communist Party came to power in Czechoslovakia, and Bratislava became a part of the Eastern Bloc. In the late 1980’s, the city was one of the main centres for the anti Communist Velvet Revolution. In 1993, Bratislava was declared the new capital of the Slovak Republic, after it broke away from the Czech Republic.

The Old Town Hall dates back to the 15th century and was created by connecting three town houses. It features a tower built in 1370, which offers a great view of the old city from the top. The Bratislava City Museum lies in the premises and has exhibits on the city’s history, and torture devices. The vibrant and lively Main Square lies next to the Old Town Hall. The square has the Maximilian Fountain, dating back to 1572. The fountain shows Roland, a medieval knight, surveying the square.

Old Town Hall

Archives, Bratislava City Museum

Chapel, Bratislava City Museum

Main Square

Bratislava Castle lies on a hill above the town, overlooking the Danube. It goes back to the 9th century. It was rebuilt in the 15th century. In 1811, it burned down and was rebuilt in the 1950’s. Inside, there are several museums, showcasing furniture, clocks, artefacts and musical instruments.

Bratislava Castle

Gate, Bratislava Castle

Bratislava is famous for some of its bronze statues scattered across the town centre. The Man at Work Statue was built in 1997. It is a bronze statue showing a sewer worker peeping at passersby from a manhole. The Napoleon’s Army Soldier Statue lies close to the Main Square and has a statue of a soldier behind a bench. It’s a popular photo op location for tourists. 

Man at Work Statue

Napoleon's Army Soldier Statue

St Michael’s Gate is the only surviving gateway into the medieval city. It was built in the 14th century. The Gothic tower was raised to its current height of 51 meters in the 18th century. There is a statue of the Archangel Michael at the top. The tower has the Museum of Weapons and Town Fortifications.  The tower has a terrace with a great view of the city.

St Michael's Gate

St Martin’s Cathedral was built in 1452. Between 1563 and 1830, 11 Hungarian kings and 8 queens were crowned here. The church was refurbished in the 19th century. The tower stands at a height of 85 meters. The cathedral has a well known sculpture of St Martin on horseback sharing his cloak with a beggar.

St Martin's Cathedral

Sculpture of St Martin,
St Martin's Cathedral

Pulpit, St Martin's Cathedral

Mirbach Palace lies opposite the Franciscan Church. The palace was completed in 1770 by a wealthy brewer. The building’s last owner, Emil Mirbach, left the building to the city. The palace houses an art gallery with 17th and 18th century baroque paintings.

Mirbach Palace

Triton and Nymph Fountain, Mirbach Palace

Primate’s Palace was built between 1778 and 1781. It was built for Jozef Batthyany, the primate of Hungary and archbishop of Esztergom. It has a neo classical pink and gold facade. At the top, there is the archbishop’s coat of arms. The palace now has the office of the mayor. The palace has the Hall of Mirrors, where the 1805 peace treaty was signed between Napoleon and Francis I.

Primate's Palace

Courtyard, Primate's Palace

Slovak National Museum opened in 1930. It is an important centre for scientific research and cultural education. The museum also has a natural history section.

Slovak National Museum

Giraffe, Slovak National Museum

Shark, Slovak National Museum

The Franciscan Church dates back to the 13th century. During coronation ceremonies, the church was used for knighting of those who proved themselves with their acts of bravery. The baroque interior has furnishings from the 17th and 18th centuries.

Franciscan Church

High Altar, Franciscan Church

Jesuit Church is located next to the Old Town Hall. It was completed in 1638 as a protestant church.  

Jesuit Church

Blue Church is officially named the Church of St Elisabeth. The church was built between 1909 and 1913. It gets the name Blue Church because of the colour of the facade and mosaics.

Blue Church

House of the Good Shepherd was built between 1760 and 1765. It is a very narrow building, with just one room on each floor. The building houses the Museum of Clocks, with clocks from the 17th to the 20th centuries.

House of the Good Shepherd

Bratislava is compact enough for us to have covered most of its important sites in one day. It may not have the grandeur of Vienna, Budapest or Prague, but if one is in the region, it's certainly worth spending a day or two in. And the best way to visit the town is to go on the ferry along the Danube from Vienna!

My Visual Travel Experience: Sofia

I lived in Sofia, Bulgaria, from 1975 to 1977, from the age of 2 to the age of 4. My father was the Indian Ambassador there back then. I have fuzzy memories of the place. I don't remember any of the city's sites. However, I do remember our big house with its grand staircase; my play-school; our pet cat who used to occasionally scratch me if I got rough with her; our nasty maid who used to beat me up when my father and mother weren't around and I wasn't behaving well; our talkative Bulgarian driver; my having proposed to a little girl and her having agreed to marry me (she refused to go back home with her parents until my mother said the wedding would be done with great fanfare when we were 12!); my crush on another little girl in my play-school and my having fallen into a puddle because I was too busy looking at her while walking; my father playing tricks with my toy animals and fooling me into believing that he was taking them out of my belly button; watching "Barba Papa" on TV with my two elder sisters. All in all, I had very fond memories of our stay, except of course memories of our unpleasant maid!

I went back to Sofia in June 2019 with my wife and 4 year old son. I was back there after 42 years! My son was very tickled when I told him I lived there when I was younger than him. I didn't manage to visit our old house, but over the 3 days that we were there, I explored Sofia quite extensively. I was pleasantly surprised by the sheer number of sites the city offered. I was also happy to see how many parks there were in the centre of the city. I did have the unfortunate experience of losing my wallet in Sofia (I think it fell out of my bag when I opened the zip to take out my camera, an act I was doing every few minutes). I lost around 200 Euros, a credit card and a debit card. Other than that, it was a wonderful visit.

Sofia is the capital of Bulgaria and a city with over 1.2 million inhabitants.  Most of the city’s many landmarks are clustered together not far from the famous Aleksandur Nevski Memorial Church in the heart of the city. The city lies at the base of Mount Vitosha, which rises to a height of 2,290 meters above sea level at its highest point.

There has been human habitation in Sofia since at least 7000 BC. Few other cities have seen as many conquests as Sofia has in the course of its long history. In 29 BC, Sofia (then called Serdica) was conquered by the Roman Republic. It was raided by the Huns in 343 – 347 AD and in 447 AD. It was conquered by the Visigoths in 376 – 382 AD, and by the Avara and the Slavs in 617 AD. In 809 AD, the city was taken over by Krum of Bulgaria. In 1018, the Byzantines took over. In 1048 and 1078, the Pechenegs were in control. The Magyars and the Serbs took over in 1183, and the Crusaders in 1095 and 1190. The second Bulgarian Empire lasted from 1194 till 1382, when the Ottomans took over.

The Ottoman rule in Bulgaria lasted for 5 centuries, from 1382 till 1878, when the Russians helped liberate the country. Most of the city’s mosques were destroyed in 1878 and a majority of the Muslim population left. Alexander of Battenberg was the first prince of the Principality of Bulgaria. He abdicated in 1886. Ferdinand I was tsar from 1887 till 1918 (when Bulgaria was defeated in World War I), Boris III from 1918 till 1943 (when he was assassinated, probably by the Nazis), and Simeon II from 1943 till 1946 (when the monarchy was abolished by the Communists). In World War II, Sofia was bombed by the Allied Forces. After the war, the Soviet Army took over. The Communist Party came into power in 1945, and democracy was established in 1990.

Aleksandur Nevski Memorial Church is Sofia’s main cathedral. It was built between 1882 and 1924, to commemorate Russia’s help in the 1877-78 War of Liberation from the Ottomans. It is named after a prominent Russian leader from the 13th century. The grand church has several gilt domes. Inside, there is the Tsar’s Throne built for Tsar Ferdinand, who ruled from 1886 to 1918. The interior of the main dome has a fresco of God the Creator, with Christ on his lap. The museum attached to the church has a large collection of icons, some of which date back to the medieval era.

Aleksandur Nevski Memorial Church

A full view of Aleksandur Nevski Memorial Church

Tsar's Throne, Aleksandur Nevski Memorial Church

Virgin and Child Icon at the Museum,
Aleksandur Nevski Memorial Church

Church of Sveta Nedelya was built on the site of a 10th century church. The present structure was completed in 1863. It was  badly destroyed in 1925 when communists bombed it in an assassination attempt on Tsar Boris III. It had to undergo major repair. The church has beautiful wall paintings showing scenes from the life of Christ.

Church of Sveta Nedelya

Fresco with the Birth of the Virgin, Church of Sveta Nedelya

Fresco with the Virgin Mary, Church of Sveta Nedelya

Church of Sveta Sofia dates back to the 6th century. The city took its name from the church. During the Ottoman rule, the church was used as a mosque, but was abandoned in 1858 after an earthquake. The interior is simple, and has exposed brick work. Outside the church, there is the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, which is guarded by a bronze lion.

Church of Sveta Sofia and
Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Bronze lion sculpture,
Church of Sveta Sofia

Rotunda of Sveti George is situated in a courtyard surrounded by buildings that include the President’s Office. It has been used as a church since the 6th century. In the 16th century, it was converted to a mosque. The church has some beautiful old frescoes. Just behind, there are archaeological finds.

Rotunda of Sveti George

The Russian Church is formally called the Church of St Nicholas the Miracle Worker. It was consecrated in 1914, and was built for the city’s Russian population. Inside, the church is full of frescoes.

Russian Church

The Catholic Cathedral is officially known as the Cathedral of St Joseph. It was built in 2006, after the original was destroyed in World War II.

Catholic Cathedral

Bania Bashi Mosque is the only functioning mosque is Sofia today. It was built in 1576 by the Ottomans. It had a public bath next to it. The mosque has a dome with a 15 meter diameter, and it has a slender minaret.

Bania Bashi Mosque

Sofia Synagogue has a Moorish design and is one of Europe’s biggest synagogues. It was completed in 1909 for the city’s Jewish population. Inside, it has a massive brass chandelier and Moorish mosaics.

Sofia Synagogue

The Archaeological Museum is located in a building that was once the Grand Mosque, built in 1494 and converted into this museum in 1894. The exhibits are displayed in the former prayer hall, under a series of 9 domes. The museum has a fine collection of Greek, Roman and medievel sculptures. The highlights include the Golden Funeral Mask from Shipka dating back to the 5th century BC.

Archaeological Museum

Golden Funeral Mask (5th century BC),
Archaeological Museum

Fortuna (2nd century),
Archaeological Museum

Equestrian with Wife and Child (3rd century),
Archaeological Museum

National Art Gallery is housed in a building which was a part of the former royal palace. It was built in 1873 for the Ottomans, and was then used by Bulgaria’s rulers. The museum has a fine collection of paintings by local Bulgarian artists, depicting the royal family and peasant life. There are also paintings by Bulgarian impressionist artists.

National Art Gallery

Mihaylov's Portrait of the Royal Children,
National Art Gallery

Mitov's Nude Young Girl,
National Art Gallery

Portrait of Tsar Ferdinand,
National Art Gallery

Vitosha Boulevard is Sofia’s main street, full of shops, souvenir stores, restaurants and pubs. It also has some high end designer stores, like Versace, Dolce and Gabbana, and Bulgari. A significant section of the street is pedestrianized, though cars do pass on the various streets crossing it. The vibrant street is one of the liveliest places in Sofia, and eateries like Wok to Walk, Sofia Bar and Dinner, Vitosha Street Bar and Dinner, The Pizza Shop, Eisha, Caffe 88, Social Cafe Bar and Restaurant, Raffy and Samurai always seem to be packed. 

Vitosha Boulevard

Party House was built in 1954 to serve as the headquarters of the Communist Party. The building has classical colonnades and a spire on top. After the Communists lost power, the building was attacked and damaged in 1990. It was restored and is now a part of Bulgaria’s Parliament. The Prime Minister's Office and the Presidency flank the Party House on either side. The Presidency is housed in a 20th century building. It is guarded 24 hours a day by soldiers dressed in parade uniforms. The changing of the guard takes place every hour, and is a popular spectacle.

Party House

Changing of the Guard, Presidency

The National Assembly was built between 1884 and 1928. It is a grand white coloured building, lying at the eastern end of Boulevard Tsar Osvoboditel, that houses many of the city’s important landmarks. 

National Assembly

The Monument to Tsar Aleksander II of Russia was built in honour of the Russia tsar who helped liberate Bulgaria from the Ottomans in the War of Liberation in 1887 – 88. The bronze sculpture has the tsar on horseback and stands outside the National Assembly.

Monument to Aleksander II

Monument of Sveta Sofia was built in 2000. It symbolizes the Orthodox Church’s concept of Holy Wisdom, inspired by the Greek Goddess of Wisdom, Athena. The figure holds a laurel wreath.

Monument to Sveta Sofia

Monument to the Soviet Army shows a Soviet soldier surrounded by a Bulgaria woman holding a baby, and a Bulgarian man. The sculpture, which is in the middle of a big park, was built in 1954, during the 10th anniversary of the liberation of Bulgaria during World War II. 

Monument to the Soviet Army

National Theatre is situated in one corner of Sofia City Garden. The neo classical building was built in 1907 by Viennese architects. It has a Neo Classical façade and a relief of Apollo.

National Theatre

The Central Market Hall has 2 floors, with food stalls and other outlets. The building was constructed in 1909 but restored in the 1990’s. The building’s front façade has an impressive clock tower.

Central Market Hall

Interior, Central Market Hall

The National Gallery of Foreign Art is adjacent to Aleksandur Nevski Memorial Church and has a fine collection of art from other countries. It opened in 1985. It has gifts to the Bulgarian state, African tribal sculpture, Japanese woodblock prints, and sketches by renowned European masters.

National Gallery of Foreign Art

Boyana Church lies on the outskirts of Sofia, close to the foothills of Mount Vitosha. The UNESCO World Heritage site is covered with beautiful 13th century frescoes. The church dates back to the 11th century, but underwent expansion in the 13th century, and the old frescoes were painted over. The intricate frescoes include scenes from the life of Christ, and scenes from the life of St Nicholas. There is also a painting of St John of Rila, Bulgaria’s patron saint. The small church only lets in about 10 people at a time.

Boyana Church

One of Sofia's most famous restaurants is Hajidraganovite Tavern. The traditional restaurant is located in a series of 19th century buildings. The restaurant has an extensive wine list, and cuisines from all over Bulgaria. In the evenings, there is live folk music. Inside the restaurant, one can see traditional costumes, wine barrels and wine bottles.

Hajidraganovite Tavern

Rila Monastery is located about 120 km south of Sofia. It was established in the 10th century by St Ivan of Rila. The monastery was destroyed by the Ottomans in the 15th century, and was damaged by fire in 1833, but it was painstakingly restored each time. It is perhaps Bulgaria’s best known building. The Church of the Nativity stands in the middle of the monastery’s courtyard. The church has a series of domes, and the interior is filled with frescoes. The arched arcade outside is also full of murals depicting scenes from the Old Testament and the New Testament.  St Ivan of Rila lived from 880 to 946. He was a hermit and opted to live in the Rila Mountains. He was believed to have healing powers and his followers got him to establish a monastery. The church has the Grave of Tsar Boris, who was poisoned probably by the Nazis in 1944 for saving Jews. The tsar’s heart is buried there. The church has the relic of St Ivan, in the form of his left hand. It lies in a silver casket, and is opened to the public from time to time.

Rila Monastery

Watch Tower, Rila Monastery

Fresco of Christ, Rila Monastery

Fresco of the Baptism of Christ, Rila Monastery

Fresco of the Virgin Mary, Rila Monastery

Very few places I have been to have had me saying "Wow!!" the moment I first set my eyes on them, but Rila Monastery had the effect on me. I found it to be spectacular and magnificent. We did have our share of adventure during our visit though. Having lost my wallet the previous day, we were down to the equivalent of 140 Euros in cash. For our day's outing, we took 40 Euros with us because we just needed money for our lunch. We got to the departure point of our coach. I had booked tickets online for my wife and myself for 30 Euros each. The site did not give me the option of booking for my young son. I thought that was because it was free for kids. However, at the boarding point, the guide told us that we couldn't go because we hadn't informed them that we had a child with us, and as per Bulgarian law, children have to have car seats on buses. We requested him to find a solution. Finally we had to pay 40 Euros - the guide hired a taxi for us, we went and rented a car seat, and then we rejoined the rest of the group in the coach. We were totally out of cash now. Our guide said credit card machines don't always work at Rila Monastery because it is in an isolated place up in the hills in a forest area. We stopped at a gas station, and my wife used her debit card to withdraw cash. The machine swallowed up her card! We had no money for lunch, and we weren't going to be back in our hotel till the evening. Our guide was very sweet, and lent us 50 Euros to see us through the day. Fortunately, the credit card machine was functioning at the restaurant in Rila Monastery, and we were able to return our guide's money!

Yes, we had our share of unexpected adventures in Bulgaria, with things going wrong. Still, we came back with very fond memories of Sofia etched in our minds! The churches were stunning, the museums had interesting collections, there was greenery everywhere in central Sofia in the form of city parks, people were by and large helpful and friendly, the food was good, and the country was incredibly inexpensive compared to other places in Europe. A big thumbs up from me to this city that isn't on the tourist map for a lot of travelers!