Chess And Me: A Relationship That Goes Back Decades

Chess was one of my life's earliest interests. I lived in Thimpu, Bhutan, from 1977 to 1980, from the age of 4 to the age of 7. A colleague of my father's was a gifted Chess player, and he taught me the basics of the game. My father played a bit too, so I got some practice with him. By the time I was 7, I was well versed with the rules of the game. We moved to Delhi in 1980, and for the next few years, I hardly played any Chess.

In 1983, we moved to Belgrade, Yugoslavia, when I was 10. Our Grade 6 Homeroom Teacher at the International School Of Belgrade, an American by the name of Mr Doneski, was a Chess enthusiast. He took Chess classes after school, and I signed up for them. That's when I really got into the game. I became the School Chess Champion when I was in Grade 6, and that really boosted my confidence. Mujib Rahman, a Bangladeshi senior in my school was my regular Chess partner. He was the only one in school who could beat me, and we played many memorable games. Deepak Malik, an officer in the Indian Embassy in Belgrade and a junior colleague of my father's, was a very talented Chess player, and I played a lot with him too. I still remember the joy I felt the only time I beat him in about 30 attempts!

From 1985 to 1989, I lived in Vienna. I didn't play too much Chess during those years, but I was among the top 5 players in my school, the Vienna International School. Arijit Borthakur and Avijit Borthakur, twin brothers from India, were good at the game, as were a few of my schoolmates from the Eastern European countries.

In 1989, it was back to Delhi for me. For the next 2 years, Chess was almost completely out of my life, because there was heavy academic pressure in Grade 11 and Grade 12. Having come from a totally different academic system in Europe, it took me a while to settle into the Indian curriculum, and that's one phase of my life when I really worked very hard at my academics. So there was very little space in my life for Chess or any of my other interests.

Next up was my phase in Delhi University's Hindu College from 1991 to 1994. That was the peak of my Chess playing days. I would carry my Chess set to college, and hardly a day would go by when I didn't play for at least a couple of hours during the long breaks between my classes. I joined the Hindu College Chess team, under the able captaincy of Jaswinder Sing Kakar, one of Delhi's top junior players. I have him to thank for taking my game up to the next level. My college also had Nikita Vats, who had an Indian father and a Russian mother. Nikita went on to become one of my closest friends, and he and I played a hell of a lot of Chess. Jaswinder, Nikita and I were the regular members of the Hindu College Chess Team, and our moment of crowning glory came when we won the Delhi University Chess Championship in 1993. 

Delhi had several top notch players during those days, who were not just Delhi's top juniors, but also among the most promising juniors in the country. There were people like Aman Chandra, Manish Mehra (who had a FIDE rating of over 2200), and Gurpreet Pal Singh (who went on to become the National Junior Champion and had a FIDE rating of over 2300). I played a fair bit with these top players, and though I wasn't in their league, I improved my game, and they became my friends. Delhi also boasted of Sri Ram Jha (who went on to become a Grand Master), and Tania Sachdev (who was a child prodigy, and would give the top players a run for their money when she was just 6!; she eventually went on to become a Women's Grand Master). During that phase, I also played a lot of Chess with other players like Sameer Singh (who was 6 years my junior, but was a very promising teenager) and Aamir Qureshi (a neighbour of mine, and a member of the Chess Team at Delhi Institute Of Technology).

During my Hindu College days, I had experiences like having all-night Chess sessions on New Year's Eve with people like Aman, Manish, Jaswinder, and Gurpreet. In these sessions, we would bring in the New Year with Chess, and continue playing till the early hours of the morning!! In 1994, my birthday get-together had to be a quiet affair, because my father was recovering at home from a heart attack; so instead of having my regular birthday party, which would have disturbed my recuperating father, I organized a Chess tournament at home; the participants were Gurpreet, Manish, Aman, Jaswinder, Nikita, Aamir, Amit Roy (another player from my college), and me; it was a unique, unforgettable birthday celebration that everyone remembers decades later! 

From 1991 to 1994, I played in several Delhi State-level Chess tournaments in the Junior (Under 19) and Youth (Under 25) categories. I did fairly well in several of the tournaments, and I would normally finish among the Top 10, but I needed to be in the top 4 or 5 to qualify for the Nationals, and I didn't quite manage that, though on one occasion I came close, finishing just outside the Top 5.

During my Hindu College days, my close friend, Barun Sen, would get very bugged with me, because instead of hanging out with him and chasing girls (like guys of that age are supposed to do!!), I would spend most of my spare time playing Chess with people like Jaswinder, Nikita and another friend, Amit Agarwal. Out of exasperation, Barun would sneak up to where I was, and he would go off with one or two of my pieces, in the hope that I would finish playing and hang out with him and have 'fun'! Well, that wasn't to be, because I would use leaves, stones, or twigs to replace the pieces he had run off with!!

Next up was my MBA in XLRI Jamshedpur from 1994 to 1996. I was on the XLRI Chess Team. A batchmate called V Ramanathan and I were the two best players in XLRI, and we represented the institute quite successfully in the iconic XLRI vs IIM Calcutta sports meet. In one of the years, we beat IIMC in Chess, and in the other year, we drew our encounter.

In 1996, I started my professional career, and I spent 10 years in Britannia, followed by 5 years in Nokia, before starting my entrepreneurial venture, Memory Marg. After I started working, I did play Chess from time to time with friends, but I didn't really have time to pursue it in a big way. There was certainly no time to participate in any tournaments. My game stagnated, because I wouldn't play more than a few times a year. 

During my early working days, I did once get the opportunity to interact fairly extensively with Vishwanathan Anand, one of the biggest names in World Chess. He was a Brand Ambassador for NIIT, and I had a friend, Shobha Ramani, who was in the Marketing team there. NIIT had him for a few hours for an advertising shoot, and knowing that I was a Chess fan and an ardent admirer of Anand's, Shobha asked me if I'd like to come for the shoot. I grabbed the opportunity and went. I enjoyed interacting with Anand, and was overjoyed with his levels of accessibility, politeness, and openness for a random stranger! Anand's wife, Aruna, was also a delight to interact with. I left with very fond memories from that memorable interaction!

In 2019, after almost a quarter of a century away from competitive Chess and aged 46, I played in a large National-level tournament in Delhi, organized by the All India Chess Federation. The tournament had over 700 players from all over India. The top players in the country did not participate, because there was a FIDE rating cap of 1600, so there certainly weren't any Grand Masters and International Masters. However, the standard was high, and it was good to see that a large number of the participants were youngsters, largely teenagers, and some not even in their teens. I was impressed to see the popularity of the game, and the depth of talent that existed among the youth. Players like Vishwanathan Anand had certainly played a key role in making Chess a very popular option among the youth! I did relatively well in the tournament, considering my long absence from competitive Chess. I finished with 3 wins, 3 draws, and 3 losses from 9 games. It wasn't a brilliant performance, but it was enough to finally get me a FIDE rating!

Several people in my Gurgaon condo were keen on learning Chess - they were largely kids, but there was also a kid's mother, who was keen that at least someone in the house should be able to play with her young son. I offered to teach them in my spare time. I also started teaching my son, Rehaan, when he was not quite 5 in 2019. It took him a couple of years to develop a real interest in the game, but now he's almost 7, and I'm starting to find that he's getting more and more involved in the game. For some of the people I started teaching, the spark was the popular Netflix serial "Queen's Gambit", which became a rage in 2020. I took up the role of teaching Chess simply out of interest initially, and I took a very nominal fee for my time. 

Soon I realised that I was enjoying teaching; I was reconnecting with an activity I loved;  my students were learning well, having fun, and getting excited about the game; and I was getting very positive feedback for being a thorough and patient teacher. Now Chess is a very technical game, and I figured I may not be in a position to coach very advanced players, but I decided that I could certainly coach newbies to the game, and give them a solid grounding into the basics of this thrilling but complicated game. So that's what I decided to take up professionally in the summer of 2021, as my business went into long hibernation with the Covid pandemic. I put out a basic communication among known circles, and I started getting enquiries from parents who were keen that their kids should learn Chess. I took complimentary trial classes with the kids, using Zoom and physical boards. Without exception, all the newbies who took the complimentary trial class seemed to find it useful and interesting. So within weeks, I had well over 20 students learning Chess from me - students largely between the ages of 5 and 13, spread across Delhi NCR, Singapore, Melbourne, Bangalore and Coonoor. Some of my students were total new-comers to the game, so I had to start with the basic rules and moves. A few of the students knew the rules, but hadn't had any formal training. Some were fairly good at Chess, and just needed some hand-holding and tips to sharpen their skills. I had to personalize my classes for each individual, given that skill levels were so different. I also had to take detailed notes after each class, in order to keep proper track of what all I have taught each of my students.

I've enjoyed coaching the kids, and it has gladdened my heart no end to get positive feedback from them and from their parents. As I teach the kids, I have also got back to learning more by accessing books and material, in order to hone my skills further and become a better coach. Chess has been an integral part of my life over the years, and I am glad that I have been able to get back to it in a big way! I'm also glad I'm able to do my small bit to popularize this game that has given me so much of intellectual stimulation, so much of joy, and so many like-minded friends over the decades! 

Tribute To A Dear Friend: Vandana Grover

Vandana Grover, a dear friend, passed away today from Covid. It came as a huge blow to me and to all those who knew this warm, gentle, sympathetic, kind-hearted soul.

I got to know Vandana a few years ago through our shared passion for Scrabble. We first met at one of the Scrabble tournaments in Delhi, and we became friends. What struck me about Vandana the first time I met her was her warmth, the aura of genuine goodness that she seemed to possess, her great diction, and her brilliant command over the English language. A bunch of us Scrabble enthusiasts - Vandana, Ela, Shalini, Sid, and I - would regularly meet up over weekends in Gurgaon, and play the game we all loved. Our favourite haunt was Starbucks in Cyber Hub. It used to be a good few hours of Scrabble, and chatting with like-minded friends. The meet-ups came to an end because of Covid, but the online meet-ups continued.

Kamalini, Vandana, Ela, Me, and Sudhir at a Scrabble
meet-up in Cyber Hub, Gurgaon, in 2017

I discovered Vandana was a real bibliophile. Her favourite author was Daphne du Maurier. She even went to Cornwall in England for a holiday to see what kind of life her favourite author lived. I remember discussing that trip with her, and over the years, we had several discussions about our respective international travels. Seeing Vandana's passion for reading, I invited her to join the book-club in my Gurgaon condominium, The Icon. She readily agreed, and soon she was an integral member of our book-club, along with regulars like Indu, Ritu, Sanjeeta, Gayatri, Puneet, Smita, Rebecca, Frances, Ruchira, my wife Kamalini, and me.

Vandana loved cats, and she had five cats at home. Kamalini, our little son Rehaan, and I once went and had lunch with Vandana and her husband at their Gurgaon home. Vandana and I played Scrabble, while Kamalini and Rehaan played with the cats. Kamalini and Vandana got along very well, which was so easy to understand because of Vandana's warm nature, and lovely mannerisms. They also had a common Loreto background that cemented their bond - Vandana was from Loreto Convent in Delhi and she now taught Economics there, whereas Kamalini was from Loreto House in Kolkata. Vandana and I found another connection - I was from XLRI Jamshedpur, and her daughter also studied there, though that was more than two decades after I had graduated from there!

When my mother passed away in 2019, I was badly shaken because I was very close to her. It took me several months to come out of the huge shock. Many of my friends were supportive during that phase, but Vandana was particularly supportive. During my mother's illness, Vandana regularly enquired about her, and said soothing words that gave me hope. When my mother left us, Vandana came over to pay her condolences, and she would regularly message me to check up on how I was coping. This brought out her extremely caring and sympathetic nature.

Through Covid, Vandana and I were in touch. We played Scrabble online, and we would exchange messages to find out how things were in our respective lives. She was extremely encouraging when I launched my debut book, "Standing Up Tall Against Bullying". She took out the time to read it, she gave a very positive review, she discussed the book with me at length, and she was encouraging in every way possible!

A few months ago, Vandana fondly remembered the last time all of us played Scrabble face-to-face. It was at my home, just a few weeks before the Covid lockdown in March 2020. Vandana didn't like to visit anyone empty-handed, and the day she came over, she gifted Kamalini and me with a beautiful book - Haemin Sunim's "The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down". The book incidentally went on to become the next book we discussed in our virtual book-club meet-up. Vandana said she was waiting for the day when all of us could meet and play Scrabble face-to-face again. That day will alas never come again for Vandana!

It is a tragic, heartbreaking loss indeed! For me, for my wife, for the Scrabble community in Delhi NCR and India, for the Icon book-club, and I'm sure for all the people whose lives she touched with her genuine goodness! With a heavy heart, but with a smile on my face, I will always remember this dear friend who brought so much happiness, calmness, and warmth into our lives!

Rest in peace Vandana. You will be missed forever!

My Visual Travel Experience: Guarda (Switzerland)

Guarda is a little village in the Swiss canton of Graubunden. Situated in the Swiss Alps, the village has close to 150 people. Guarda is located in the municipality of Scuol. It is in a part of Switzerland where the most commonly spoken language is Romansch. Popular destinations in the neighbourhood of Guarda include towns like Chur, St Moritz, Davos, and Klosters. My wife Kamalini Roy, our little son Rehaan, and I spent three days in Guarda in the summer of 2018, during our two and a half week trip across Switzerland. We were amazed at the stunning beauty of this village. Without doubt, Guarda is one of the most beautiful villages I have ever been to. I have my wife to thank for the trip to Guarda. I usually spend most of my travels visiting larger towns. Small villages and places of scenic beauty are what really appeal to her. And over the years, she has got me to appreciate smaller places and natural beauty more than I did earlier.

A view of Guarda

We arrived in Guarda by train from the nearby town of Klosters, where we were staying with my Indian cousin who stays in Klosters with her Swiss husband and their young daughter. Their place was our base-camp during our Swiss holiday. The railway station at Guarda is in the valley at the bottom of the mountain. There are regular buses that take passengers up to the village, barely a 5 minute uphill ride away. We stayed at a charming Airbnb apartment run by Peter and Helen in the heart of the village. Helen was away, but we got to interact closely with Peter. He was a very warm and hospitable host. The apartment was done up in a very pretty manner. We would get a delicious breakfast every morning. Peter took out a lot of time and told us about the points of interest in Guarda, along with its restaurants, and a traditional legend that makes the village famous.

View of Guarda and the surrounding mountains

Beautifully decorated flowers outside our apartment

Guarda has a pretty little church, with a single steeple. It is the most recognizable landmark in the village. Guarda's houses are unique, because many of them have sgraffiti on their exterior. All the houses in the village are numbered Chasa followed by the house number. The houses compete with each other for beauty, as so many of them have this pretty sgraffiti on their facades.

Guarda Church

Interior of Guarda Church

Pulpit, Guarda Church

Church Graveyard

Chasa 51

Chasa 54

Guarda has several hotels and restaurants. Great food options are available at places like Hotel Meisser, Hotel Piz Buin, and Pensuin Val Tuoi. For those who prefer to cook themselves, there is a small but well equipped supermarket called Volg. Our apartment had a kitchen, so we stocked up from the supermarket on a couple of occasions, and made ourselves some delicious meals of Rosti - the unique Swiss potato fries with bits of ham!

Hotel Meisser

Hotel Piz Buin

Pensiun Val Tuoi

Bratwurst and Rosti, Pensiun Val Tuoi

Salad, Hotel Meisser

Guarda is well known for the legend of Schellen Ursli, a little boy who ran away from home in search of a big bell, to take part in a competition. The village has a Schellen Ursli Museum. There is also the Schellen Ursli Weg, a trail along which walkers can go hiking and enjoy the scenic landscapes around the village. We were afraid that the uphill climb would be too much for Rehaan, who was just over 3 and a half years old at that time. However, we were pleasantly surprised to find him running up the hill and leaving us far behind! The little fellow sure is an energy-ball, and we had underestimated his stamina levels! We took a wrong turn during our trail that made our walk several kilometers longer than it should have been, but that didn't seem to bother Rehaan. At the end of our hike, when Kamalini and I were both absolutely exhausted, Rehaan looked like he could have started running a marathon! During our hike, we also got to see cows and goats. The cows had their quintessential Swiss cow-bells. It was a lovely sight, and the sound of the cow-bells was music to the ears!

Sleighs, Schellen Ursli Museum

The book of Schellen Ursli,
Schellen Ursli Museum

Schellen Ursli Weg

Scenic views along Schellen Ursli Weg

Bridge, Schellen Ursli Weg

Goats

What a wonderfully relaxed visit it was! And what beauty we were surrounded by! We left Guarda with huge smiles on our faces, and memories to last a lifetime - memories of scenic mountains, pristine greenery, pretty architecture, a lovely little church, delicious Swiss food, friendly people, a charming apartment we loved staying in, and some amazing family-time together!

"Corporate World To Entrepreneurship" - Unforgettable Anecdotes From My Corporate Life

This blog is an excerpt from my book "Corporate World To Entrepreneurship: Becoming Your Own Boss", available on Amazon in Kindle and in paperback form. Here I talk about some memorable anecdotes from my days in Britannia Industries Ltd (where I worked from 1996 to 2006, across Delhi, Chennai, and Bangalore) and in Nokia India Pvt Ltd (where I worked from 2006 to 2011 in Gurgaon).

The book cover of 
"Corporate World To Entrepreneurship"

I miss the corporate lifestyle. Yes, I do miss the jet-setting routine, the perks, the complimentary invitations to big events, and the regular stays at five star hotels. Being in Sales and Marketing, I got to travel a lot, inside India and internationally. Whenever I could, I clubbed my work trips with a weekend, and I got to see a lot of the country and the world, which I otherwise would not have had an opportunity to see!

I miss the many fun experiences that corporate life offered. There were so many landmark incidents and events that are permanently etched in my memory. I got to meet some very famous personalities. I got to be a part of some mega events. I shall share a few memorable stories from those days.

In 1996, shortly after joining Britannia, we Management Trainees were on our factory stint, where we had to understand the manufacturing process of biscuits, cakes and bread. It was a very useful stint, as we learned about the ingredients used, the machinery employed, the baking process, and the packaging process. The stint was spread over more than 2 months. It was very interesting, no doubt, but how long could we stare at the oven? After a while, we got a bit restless. We were fresh into our jobs, and we wanted to start contributing, instead of just doing our PHD in observing! One day, I noticed that a worker in the cake plant was not wearing his gloves, and that was supposed to be mandatory. I thought it was my moral duty to point it out to him. It was also going to give me a sense of achievement and accomplishment, because I was actually going to add value instead of staring at the oven! So, I walked up to the worker to give him my feedback. Now my Hindi was far from being fluent, thanks to my early years spent out of the country. What I meant to ask him was why he hadn’t worn a “dastana” (that’s the Hindi word for glove), but what I ended up asking him was why he hadn’t worn a “guldasta” (a bouquet of flowers)! The moment he gave me a completely befuddled look, I realized I must have said something wrong, and I wished I hadn’t opened my mouth in the first place! Luckily, my sales stint in the interior markets of Northern India over the next few months would force me to converse more and more in Hindi, and I became much more comfortable with the language!

In 1996, as a Management Trainee in Britannia, I had to travel extensively to the hinterlands of Uttar Pradesh and Rajasthan during my sales stint. On one such occasion, I was in some interior markets of Rajasthan travelling by bus. It was winter time, and travelling in the rickety Rajasthan Roadways buses - many of which didn’t even have glass on their windows to block out the chilly air - was far from being a comfortable experience. Still, it needed to be done as part of the stint. We needed to understand what the sales team had to endure, so that we could be more empathetic to their situation. Halfway through my journey, a farmer boarded the bus, and along with him, came aboard his herd of goats! I sat on that bus for the next several hours, with goats as my travelling companions! I found the baby goats to be adorable. I had to be constantly watchful, as they kept making a bee-line for my shoe laces, which they seemed to enjoy biting. After spending those few hours with the goats, I gave up on eating mutton, because how could I eat my cute fellow travelers? It was 8 years before I ate mutton again!

In Britannia, I was a part of the team that flew several dozen under-privileged children in Chennai on their first ever flight. It was an activity that Britannia did jointly with Jet Airways in 1997. It was a part of the Corporate Social Responsibility agenda of both companies, to bring some joy into the lives of these children. It was an absolute delight to see the smiles on the faces of these under-privileged children, as the plane took off and they had their first experience in the skies! Their parents proudly came to the airport to see them off and then receive them an hour later. It was a matter of great joy and pride for the parents too, that these children had been given such an exciting, novel experience!

In 1999, Britannia ran the successful “Britannia Khao World Cup Jao” promotion. 100 lucky consumers, and several people from the company, got to go to England on a three day trip to see the India vs England match in the Cricket World Cup. I was in Chennai back then, and I was a regional coordinator for the activity. The promotion was conceptualized by the company’s CEO, who was well known in the industry for his marketing acumen and exceptional communication skills. It generated a tremendous amount of buzz and excitement in the company and in the market. As part of the organizing team, I also got to travel to England on that memorable trip. It’s a different matter that the trip had a bit of a set-back because several of the winners saw this as an easy opportunity to slip into England, and they never came back to India with the rest of the team! Still, I haven’t seen any other corporate activity whipping up the kind of frenzy that this promotion did, and it was a matter of great pride to have been a part of it!

Britannia invested a lot of marketing money into cricket sponsorships. In 2000, the company’s then Senior Vice President of the Bakery Division hosted a dinner at his residence in Bengaluru. The Indian cricket team was invited for the dinner, and the company’s marketing team was also a part of it. So, I had the opportunity of meeting legends of the game, like Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, and V V S Laxman, and interacting with them. I also got to spend one-on-one time with another member of the Indian cricket team, Robin Singh, when he came to my territory in Bengaluru for an event sponsored by Britannia.

In 2000 and 2001, I was put on the team that helped with the organizing of a glamourous manhunt and megamodel contest, an event sponsored by Britannia. The event was organized by a well known fashion magazine run by the wife of our company’s chairman. The manhunt contest has produced winners like Dino Moreo in 1995, and John Abraham in 1999, whereas the megamodel contest has produced winners like Lara Dutta in 1995. Now these are household names in the modeling industry of India, and some have taken the Bollywood film industry by storm. So, we are talking serious stuff here! I was involved with the logistics of organizing of the contest in Bengaluru, Delhi and Kolkata. It was great fun, being a part of the mega event. I enjoyed my interactions with Mrs Chairman. She was very good at what she did, and in her own way, she was a warm person with a great sense of humour. She used to constantly forget my name, and she would call me “Milkman”, because I was in Britannia’s dairy division back then, and we had just launched the Milkman sub brand! During the swim-suite round of the event in Bengaluru, she called me and said “Milkman, are you married?” I said “No ma’am.” Her reply was “Then this must be a very educational experience for you!”  She said this in public, that too, in front of a high powered panel of judges, consisting of CEOs and CXOs of different companies! Being the shy, introverted person that I was, I got so embarrassed that I didn’t know where to look! I was, however, tickled by her terrific sense of humour! During the event in Delhi, Mrs Chairman called me and handed over a measuring tape and weighing scale to me. She said she had a suspicion that a few of the women participants were not being honest in reporting their heights and weights, so I was given the task of verifying them! Oh, the things one has to do in the line of duty!! I became the envy of every man in Britannia!

Like Britannia, Nokia was also greatly involved in the sponsorship of cricket. Nokia was a sponsor of the IPL team Kolkata Knight Riders, owned by Bollywood superstar, Shahrukh Khan. In 2007, the entire marketing team got to go to PVR Priya, a plush movie hall in Delhi’s Vasant Vihar, and we got to see the final of the T-20 Cricket World Cup. It happened to be between India and Pakistan. What could be more exciting than to see these two arch rivals in the final? The icing on the cake was that India went on to win the championship, after a nail-bitingly close match. The atmosphere was electric, and it was great to witness the occasion along with friends and colleagues. Wild celebrations followed!

Nokia also often got well known personalities who came and addressed the marketing and sales teams, and shared their life experiences and their learnings from their respective fields. So, we had big names like cricketer Kris Srikanth and tennis star Vijay Amritraj who came and kept us glued to our chairs with their brilliant talks. Both were tremendous orators, and spoke eloquently about what it takes to get ahead in life and excel in one’s chosen field. Being a huge tennis fan, at the end of Vijay Amritraj’s talk, I went up to him and had a lengthy exchange with him about Federer and Nadal, and the world of tennis. At the end of our talk, Vijay Amritraj walked up to our Country Head, and said “Keep this guy away from Star TV, or I’ll lose my job as a commentator!” Our Country Head laughed and replied, “He does absolutely no work, so he has all the time in the world to keep track of tennis!”

With tennis ace, Vijay Amritraj, at a
Nokia event in 2009

Nokia once sent members of the marketing team to Bengaluru for a talk conducted by the internationally renowned management guru, Stephen R Covey, the author of “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People”. Stephen Covey was a great speaker, and it was a very engaging session, with a lot to learn. At the end of his session, a colleague of mine, Dipti, and I went up to him to introduce ourselves. Dipti was my age, but I guess I looked older than her, because I started graying quite early in life. Stephen Covey greeted me, and then jokingly said “This must be your lovely daughter!” I was momentarily shocked by what he had said, but then I broke out into a laugh, in appreciation of his fine sense of humour! Dipti and I still laugh about the hilarious incident!

In 2008, on my first trip to Helsinki within Nokia, I spent a fair amount of time with my European colleagues. The experience reminded me of my growing up years, when I had gone to several international schools, and had had classmates from many different countries from around the world. I was chatting with a woman colleague from Sweden. She asked me if I had any kids. I said “No. I am not married.” She looked surprised and said she didn’t quite understand the correlation. She said “I have kids. I am not married. My sister has kids. She is not married. What is the connection?” I had to patiently make her understand that in Indian culture, it is very uncommon for people to have kids without being married!

In 2010, Nokia had its marketing team outbound in Kochi. It was shortly after the release of the Bollywood blockbuster, “3 Idiots”, starring Aamir Khan, R Madhavan, Sharman Joshi, Kareena Kapoor and Boman Irani in key roles. The outbound was inspired by the movie, which went on to become the most successful Bollywood movie to date back then. The theme of the movie was that one should be pursuing excellence and not success; if one excelled, success would follow automatically. All the presentations and all the props were around this central theme, and the learnings from the movie were discussed at length. We had a serious agenda for the outbound because the year’s marketing plans had to be fleshed out, but it was done in an incredibly fun manner. An added bonus at the outbound was that one of India’s best known contemporary writers, Chetan Bhagat, the author of “Five Point Someone”, the book that inspired “3 Idiots”, was called as a speaker. He addressed the entire team, and spoke at length about himself and about his book. He had been a management student, who had gone on to become a successful banker. He then gave it all up to pursue his passion to become a full-time author. His journey was quite in line with the story’s theme – follow your passion, excel in it, and success will follow!

My Love Affair With Travel - Where It All Began!

As far back as I can remember, I've always enjoyed travelling and exploring the world. I was exposed to travel very early in life. My father was an Indian diplomat, and every few years, we would live in a different country. So in addition to my hometown of Delhi, I grew up in Sofia (Bulgaria), Thimpu (Bhutan), Belgrade (Yugoslavia), and Vienna (Austria). My father would take a couple of weeks off every year, and we travelled quite a bit as a family, especially during our stay in Vienna from 1985 to 1989. So, we travelled around Austria, and to various countries in Europe, including Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, France, England, Hungary and the Czech Republic.

My Sales and Marketing job in my first company, Britannia, gave me a chance to travel quite a bit around India. I also got a chance to travel to England for a few days, as part of the team that accompanied 100 lucky winners in the "Britannia Khao World Cup Jao" consumer promotion, that was a phenomenal success in 1999. My frequent flier points on Indian Airlines gave me an opportunity to travel to Bangkok and to Dubai for a few days in 2000. But my first proper, lengthy, solo international trip wasn't till 2001, when I spent close to 5 weeks travelling around Europe. And that's the trip that made travel my life's biggest passion! My trip was initially planned for the US, as I had never been there and had always been keen on going. However, it was soon after 9/11, and my visa application got rejected! So I ended up visiting the US for 4 weeks 2 years later in 2003.

I was lucky that my bosses agreed to grant me such long leave. It was within the maximum annual leave permissible by the company, but it was still not something anyone ever did! I was also very fortunate that my father gifted me his Virgin Atlantic frequent flier miles, which were adequate to get me a Delhi - London - Delhi return ticket. I got myself a Eurail pass, which allowed me unlimited travel by train, across Europe over a 1 month period. My father's Indian Foreign Service connections also ensured that in several of the places I went to, I got to stay with my parents' friends, often in luxurious Ambassadorial residences! My itinerary was London - Paris - Vienna - Rome - Milan - Munich - Amsterdam - The Hague - Brussels - London. So, that was 9 cities, spread across 7 countries! I went armed with a series of DK travel books, by far my favourite travel book series, full of information, colourful photographs and illustrations, maps, and trivia!

I started and ended my trip in London. It was 6 days in the British capital at the beginning, and another 2 days at the end. I had visited London once before with my family in 1987. I stayed at the home of Debbie, an old friend of my mother's. She was out of town for most of my time in London, but she opened up her apartment for me, and hid the apartment key for me in a flower pot outside! Debbie's apartment was in the heart of London, and close to the London Underground, so it was very convenient for me. I loved my time in London. London has a very large number of fascinating places, and I visited sites like Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, St Paul's Cathedral, Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, British Museum, Victoria & Albert Museum, Natural History Museum, the National Gallery, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum (they're all over the world today, but London has the original), Tower of London (the Kohinoor diamonds were a special treat), Tower Bridge, and Buckingham Palace. There was just so much to see and do in the city. The only bad experience I had was that one evening, very early on in my trip, I decided to get myself a drink at a bar-cum-nightclub in the heart of town, walking distance away from Piccadilly Circus. It turned out to be a shady place, and I got a bill running into well over a hundred Pounds for getting a Coke!! I objected vehemently, but was told I had said OK when a bikini-clad waitress had asked me if I'd like her to be my waitress for the evening, and that was going to cost me. It had been as innocent as that! I was blown away by the bizarreness of the situation! I didn't even have that amount of money with me. Before I knew it, two big bouncers held me, took my passport, and asked me to withdraw money from a nearby ATM! I was out of options and did it, but it was a learning for me as a traveler that one really has to be very careful and on one's guard all the time when one is in a different country!

National Gallery at Trafalgar Square, London (UK)

Next, I went to Paris for 6 days. I stayed at the apartment of Vinay, a friend of my elder sister's. It was my second time in Paris too, because I had been there in 1987. Like London, Paris also had a tremendous amount to see. I visited attractions like Eiffel Tower (nothing to beat the view of Paris from the top of the tower), Notre Dame Cathedral, Sacre Coeur Basilica, St Chapelle (with its amazing stain glass panels), Pantheon, Invalides (containing the tomb of Napoleon), Arc de Triomphe, Champs Elysees (with its many high-end designer stores), Place Vendome, Place de la Concorde, Moulin Rouge (famous for its Parisian cabarets), and Versailles Palace. Unfortunately, there was a museum workers' strike throughout the duration of my visit, and I missed out on visiting the Louvre, Museum d'Orsay, Musee Rodin, and Musee Picasso. I went to the museums practically everyday, but the strike didn't get over in a hurry. I made a special trip to Paris a few years later, largely to see the museums I had missed out on. It was well worth it. I spent a full day at the Louvre (and realised that the museum had so much more than just Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, the Winged Victor of Samothrace, and Venus de Milo!), and managed to see only parts of the museum's enormous collection. The impressionist art collection at Musee d'Orsay (with masterpieces like Manet's Olympia and Renoir's Moulin de la Galette) also made that second trip so worthwhile!

Eiffel Tower, Paris (France)

Basilica of Sacre Coeur, Paris (France)

Next up was 6 days in Vienna. Returning to Vienna was like going back to my second home. I was back after 14 years, having lived there for 4 years during my middle and high school years. I knew Vienna so well that I still remembered the tram numbers and U-Bahn (the local underground) numbers. Little had changed in the city since I had left it! I stayed with a colleague of my father's, Hamid Ali Rao. He had been in Vienna when we were there, and this was his second posting there. Hamid, his gracious and friendly wife Asiya, and their daughters Alia and Alvira were very warm and hospitable to me through my stay. I met Frau Sarma, an elderly Austrian lady (who had been married to an Indian) who had been the Ambassador's Social Secretary during our time there. I also met old friends like George and Mohan, who had been staff working with the embassy for years. I got to visit our old home at Spitzergasse 2, in Vienna's 18th district. Mr Sreenivasan, who was known to my family, was now the Ambassador in Vienna. Visiting the grand Ambassadorial residence brought back lots of memories of my happy times spent in that house! I managed to meet a few of my old friends from Vienna International School. It was good to meet old friends like my Iranian friend, Shoki, and my Italian friend, Giacomo. I also visited my old school. I had mixed memories of my time spent at the school. It had infrastructure like no other school I had been to, the faculty had been fabulous, I had made some good friendships, but it was also a place where I had unfortunately been subjected to a lot of bullying. I relived the essence of Vienna, by visiting the city's various landmarks, like Stephansdom (the city's main cathedral), Karlskirche (a rich baroque church), Peterskirche (another well known baroque church), Karntner Strasse (the main pedestrian street), Graben (the plague column), the Opera House, Schonnbrunn Palace, Hofburg Palace, Belvedere Palace, the Fine Arts Museum, the Rathaus (the Town Hall), the Parliament (inspired by ancient classical Greek architecture), and the famous Prater amusement park (with its large ferris wheel). I also made it a point to have a slice of the famous Sacher Torte at the Sacher Hotel on Karntner Strasse. I didn't miss out on eating Wiener Schnitzel too, and I made sure I bought a few boxes of my favourite Mozart Kugeln chocolates!

Karlskirche, Vienna (Austria)

Schonnbrunn Palace, Vienna (Austria)

I then went on to Rome, and spent 5 days there. Rome was no stranger to me either, because I had been there once before, in 1987, with my sister and my cousin. This time round, I stayed at the Indian Ambassador's residence. Mr Siddharth Singh and Mrs Jyotsna Singh were posted there back then. They were old family friends, and had been with us in Thimpu in the late 1970s. Siddharth Uncle and Jyotsna Aunty were meeting me after more than 20 years, and remembered me for the mischievous brat I had been. On my first day, Jyotsna Aunty called me and said "Akshay, we have an official dinner tonight for a visiting Minister from India. You may join us, but you have to promise to behave yourself!" Siddharth Uncle also said to me "Akshay, if you hadn't been my Ambassador's son, I would have whacked you!" Oh boy, I had really been a trouble maker as a 7 year old! In Rome, I visited sites like St Peter's Basilica (the head of the Catholic church, and one of the world's grandest churches, featuring works of art like Michelangelo's world-famous Pieta), the Sistine Chapel (with Michelangelo's masterpiece, The Creation Of Man, on its ceiling), Castelo San Angelo, the Vittoriano, the Roman Forums, the Colosseum, Capitoline Museum, Trevi Fountain (I did throw in a coin, which indicates I shall return to Rome!), Piazza Navona, and Piazza Spagna.

I then spent a day in Milan. I was picked up from the railway station by the driver of the Indian consulate, and I was dropped back at the railway station in the evening. It was enough time for me to take in some of the city's main landmarks, and I saw the Duomo and the large city square surrounding it. I spent time at Galleria Vittorio Emanuele, with its impressive interior and its swanky, high end stores. I also saw the exterior of the famous La Scala Opera House. Everything I saw was at or around the Duomo square, but there was so much to take in there that it took me several hours to do!

Duomo, Milan (Italy)

From there, it was on to Munich for just a day. While travelling from Milan to Munich, I had to unexpectedly get off the train at the Swiss border, because my Schengen visa didn't include Switzerland, and I couldn't enter the country, even though I was not getting off the train! So I took another train and made my way to Munich through a roundabout route via Austria. I didn't have much time in Munich, but it was enough to give me a flavour of the impressive city centre, with its many churches, city squares, and pedestrianized streets. I visited Frauenkirche (the main cathedral), Peterskirche, Heiliggeistkirche, Marienplazt (the main city square), Neues Rathas (the New Town Hall), and Altes Rathaus (the Old Town Hall). Despite being a large city, the centre of Munich is compact, in addition to being pedestrianized, so I was able to see a lot of places in a relatively short period of time. I also enjoyed feasting on authentic German Bratwurst, which I happily downed with a mug of German beer!

Peterskirche, Munich (Germany)

I then spent 4 days at a hotel in Amsterdam. I visited sites including churches like Oude Kerk, Nieuwe Kerk, Wester Kerk, and Zuider Kerk; Dam Straat (the main commercial street connecting the central railway station to the main square, Dam Square); the Sex Museum; Madame Tussaud's Amsterdam, Rijksmuseum (famous for its many masterpieces, including Rembrandt's Nightwatch and The Jewish Bride, and Vermeer's The Kitchen Maid); the Van Gogh Museum (which has some of the artist's best known works, including Sunflowers, The Wheatfields And The Crows, The Potato Eaters and many self portraits); and Anne Frank's House (the house where the young Jewish girl lived with her family in hiding from the Nazis during World War II). I walked around the notorious but world-famous red light district. I also went on a canal cruise. I found Amsterdam to be one of the liveliest and most vibrant cities I have been to.

Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam (Netherlands)

On one of the days when I was in Amsterdam, I also visited The Hague. I met Mrs Shyamla Cowsik, an ex colleague of my father's, who was now the Indian Ambassador there. In The Hague, I visited Mauritshuis (a fabulous museum, famous for Vermeer's The Woman With The Pearl Earring, and Paulus Potter's The Bull), the Grote Kerk (the main cathedral), and Madurodam (with its miniature models of the most famous buildings and sites of Netherlands). I also saw the Peace Palace from outside - the grand building houses the International Courts of Justice.

Mauritshuis, The Hague (Netherlands)

Next up was Brussels, where I stayed for 3 days with Mr and Mrs PK Singh. Mr PK Singh was the Indian Ambassador in Brussels. The Singhs had been with us in Sofia in the mid 1970s. As a 3 year old, I had proposed to their 2 and a half year old daughter, Shipra, when the family had come to our place for dinner. Shipra had readily agreed to marry me! She refused to go back home with her parents, until my mother eventually sent her home by saying "We'll come with a 'band-baaja' and marry you and Akshay off when you are 12!" Shipra and her two brothers were away during my stay at their home, but the Singhs were extremely warm to me. I was visiting Brussels after 14 years too. I managed to visit the Grand Place with its Hotel de Ville and Maison du Roi, the Cathedral of St Michel, the Notre Dame Basilica, the Fine Arts Museum, the statue of the Mannekin Pis (the tiny size of the world famous statue came as a surprise!), the Atomium (a huge structure shaped like an atom) and the Butt de Lion structure in nearby Waterloo (where Napoleon was defeated). I feasted on Belgian waffles and Godiva chocolates, both of which were sinfully divine!

Maison du Roi, Grand Place, Brussels (Belgium)

From Brussels, it was back to London for a couple of days, and then I returned to India, after a very memorable trip. I managed my budgets within around Rs 2,50,000, which was impressive, but then I hadn't paid for my air travel, plus my stay had been free in most places, thanks to our various family friends who were scattered everywhere. I also controlled my budgets by travelling everywhere by public transport, and by surviving on inexpensive fast food, which was just fine because I've always enjoyed eateries like McDonald's and Burger King! 

After that trip, travel became my life's biggest passion, and practically every year, I would set out to a different part of the world. Over time, I developed a big interest in travel photography too. Over the next 2 decades, I managed to visit more than 40 countries across Europe, Asia, North America, Africa and Australia. I, however, always look back at that 2001 trip of mine that started it all off for me as a passionate traveler! I always say a silent word of thanks to my late father for giving me his frequent flier points, which facilitated that landmark trip of mine. I also say a word of thanks to my late mother for always encouraging every interest of mine, including this keen interest in travel!

Over the decades, I've used up a lot of my hard earned savings on my various international travels, but for me, it has been money well spent. My international travels continued unabated even after I left the corporate world and started earning far less than I had been earlier - my travels were something that I accorded the highest of priorities, even at times when my bank account wasn't exactly overflowing! I feel that much richer through all the travel experiences I've had; the many things I've learned about the history, art, and culture of the countries I've visited; the amazing local cuisines I've got to taste; and the interesting people I've met. I wouldn't have it any other way!

To Be Or Not To Be: A Tribute To A Mother's Love

I recently crossed another annual milestone, as another birthday came and went, and I turned 48. It was my second birthday without my mother, and I certainly thought about her a lot and missed her beyond words.

My mother's elder sister - who is now 90 and a very warm, spirited, and lively 90 at that - reminded me of a touching story that brought tears to my eyes, and made me remember my mother ever so much.

Back in 1972, my parents had two children, and they wanted to have a third. My mother used to say she wanted to have three children because if two of them ever fight, the third one is always there to mediate! So there I was, inside her tummy, and on my way into this earth! 

It, however, turned out to be a very complicated pregnancy, because my mother had a lot of health complications, and there was a threat to her life. A lot of well-wishers felt that she shouldn't go ahead with her pregnancy, because she may not make it. Someone close even told my father "So you want three children, but without their mother!"

A decision was taken that the pregnancy needed to be terminated, because the risk to my mother's life was far too great. My mother's elder sister came from Patiala to Delhi to be with my mother during the procedure. My mother was taken to the army hospital, because her brother was a senior army doctor, and the army hospital was reputed for its brilliant doctors.

My mother was wheeled into the operating theatre, while my aunt waited outside for the procedure to be completed. Five minutes later, she was wheeled out again. My aunt was very surprised that the procedure had been completed so quickly. The doctor said that was not the case. My mother had actually broken down and told the doctor that she didn't want to lose her baby, and wanted to go ahead with her baby at any cost. The doctor had said he would dig deep and try his best to ensure a safe delivery, safe for my mother, and safe for the baby inside. He told my aunt that he could deal with a patient having physical problems, but he was not capable of dealing with someone who was psychologically broken!

My mother went ahead with the baby, and here I am, telling the story almost half a century later. My heart longs for my mother and remembers her with nothing but love, respect, and gratitude, for having loved me so much even before I was born. For having loved me so much that she was even willing to risk her life in order to have me.

Only a mother could do that for her child! My mother did that for her child!

Love you Mama. I owe my entire existence to you!

My mother in 2010, at the age of 75

My Visual Travel Experience: Neemrana

Neemrana is situated in the North Indian state of Rajasthan. It lies in Alwar District, between Delhi and Jaipur, and is located about 120 km from Delhi and 150 km from Jaipur. Neemrana was the site of a 15th century hill-fort. It was occupied by the Chauhans till 1947. They were supposedly the descendants of the famous Rajpur ruler, Prithviraj Chauhan. Neemrana is used as a base to visit popular nearby attractions like the Sariska Tiger Reserve, which is about 75 km away.

The highlight of the town is Neemrana Fort Palace, a 15th century fort that has been reconverted into a resort. It has beautifully decorated rooms, done up colourfully in a palatial manner. There are two outdoor swimming pools, a sundial, several attractive courtyards, an amphitheatre, and landscaped gardens. There is a popular restaurant called Jalgiri Mahal and a bar called Raj Mahal Bar. The resort is situated on a hill, and has scenic panoramic views of the area around it. The town also has other popular hotels for visitors.

I first visited Neemrana Fort Palace in 2009 with my friends Ruchika, Sujatha, and Sakthi. We went for the day and had lunch there, after exploring the palatial resort. It was barely a 1.5 hour drive from Gurgaon, and the highway was very good, so it was an effortless journey. In 2012, my wife, Kamalini, and I went there for an overnight stay. We found the resort beautiful, and the prices were reasonable. 

Suraj Pol is the main gateway into to Neemrana Fort Palace. Chand Pol is another gate into the grand complex.

Suraj Pol

Sculpture at Chand Pol

Reception

Hawa Mahal is a beautiful hall, and is one of Neemrana Fort Palace's main attractions. The hall has a breezy feel to it (and hence the name - "Hawa" means wind), and is tastefully done up with works of art.

Exterior of Hawa Mahal

Interior of Hawa Mahal

Roof of Hawa Mahal

Painting by Anjali Ila Menon, Hawa Mahal

Neemrana Fort Palace has an outdoor amphitheatre, where performances are held.

Amphitheatre

The complex has an old fashioned, traditional sun dial to tell the time.

View of the Sundial from Hawa Mahal

Sun Dial

Ooncha Bagh is a beautiful garden, with seating, at the side of one of the outdoor pools. Shatranj Bagh is an outdoor terrace, made to look like a chess board ("Shatranj" stands for chess).

Ooncha Bagh

Shatranj Bagh

There are several beautiful courtyards, including Aam Kund, Holi Kund, and Tulsi Chowk, where visitors can sit and take in the atmosphere.

Aam Kund

Holi Kund

Tulsi Chowk

All in all, Neemrana Fort Palace is a great experience that takes one back to the royal pomp and splendour that existed in the years gone by! It's an attractive short stay for people from Delhi who are looking to get away to a quiet yet beautiful and comfortable get-away from the mega city!